Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Bringing up boys: Shit happens...

...To the nicest people. And shit is happening to my eldest. The one with Absence Seizures.
You’d have thought that the gods would have let up in him. The poor little bugger has been through enough with his epilepsy but now it seems they’ve decided to add to his woes and saddled him with yet another difference: Dyslexia.
It’s not too bad luckily but this beautiful boy, this kind gentle creature seems to be doomed to have to try so hard to get anywhere and I feel it is so damned unfair.
He really doesn’t need this!
I just want life to ease up on him. I just want him to be able to do something without having to jump through all the hoops. He so desperately wants to be up there with all his mates but he keeps falling behind with everything be it football ( which he loathes because he can’t do it) to maths.
I keep hoping the gods have a plan; you know where he’ll need the fortitude he is gaining, where he’ll use the skills he’s been forced to acquire.
And I hope beyond all hope that I’ll be able to cope with it all. I am not a very patient mother, I’m not all fluffy and mumsy; it’s not in my nature and yet right now I feel he needs me to be just that.
Actually if I did do that I’d only confuse him so perhaps we’ll just play chess and eat crisps and I’ll growl a few times in case he thinks I’m turning all gooey on him…


Exmoorjane said...

Oh Tats... if it's any consolation at all, dyslexia seems to strike the smartest thinkers, the most lateral thinking and original. Talk to Zoe - she may well have sage advice..
Yes you'll cope cos you're a coper...but, really, arsebiscuits eh?

I'll join you in a growl...nothing beats a good growl.

Expat mum said...

Don't worry too much - I have one of them and she's now at college and doing very well. It's all about learning what they can and can't do, and working within that framework. OK, the initial testing and diagnosing is a bit of a faff, and then you have to make sure he gets the accommodations he needs, ie. extra time on tests, use of a computer if his hand-writing is laboured etc. but these days, it's recognised that dyslexia doesn't mean stupid.
And in the UK there are many great institutions who are leading the way in the research on it.

Kirsty said...

My way of looking at this: a diagnosis of dyslexia doesn't change the way he is - he would have had these issues whether it was labelled as 'dyslexia' or not. But the diagnosis means that he can access the help and support he needs. Knowing what you're dealing with could turn out to be a positive step, as it gives you some answers about how to make things easier for him. I hope you feel happier soon.

Von said...

He doesn't need a fluffy mumsy he needs you with your perspective and support of him, faith in him and hopes that he will find his place in time, as he undoubtedly will with you as his champion.

AngelaC said...

People with Dyslexia can be successful as well, eg Duncan Bennatyne? Try not to worry too much, I believe that he's good at something, you just need to find out what and then help him develop.

Rob-bear said...

Oh, dear. Enough is bl**dy enough, already!

Hope you both survive.

Blessings and Bear hugs in a challenging time.

Tattie Weasle said...

Exmoorjane - Thank you will contact Zoe and def arsebiscuits! FYI growl went to purr because he let me win at chess...!
Expat Mum - starting to realise I must think of this as an opportunity for both him and me and he's anything but stupid, painful yes and annoying but heck he's a boy! Thank you!
Kirsty - you are SO right. He's still my boy and I LOVE HIM. feeling a lot more positive today thanks!
Von - I do beleive I can do this adn if not I am sure he will teach me...
Angela C Thank you beginning to realise the same thing!
Rob Bear - we'll survive and well Thank you for the bear hugs - they worked!

Jess said...

It never ceases to amaze me how some people who have one thing to bear seem to get landed with another!Grr!Its not fair is it!?!
Why I think,hvnt they got enough on their plate already!
We struggle here and know lots of children where they get whammed with more than one challenge,same as you say,I often think God hope your plan has a good reason!
Hopefully your son will get some support with the dyslexia from school
Love Jess

Tattie Weasle said...

Jess - I had a great meeting at school and hopefully things will progress! Thank YOu!

Jess said...

I was so pleased to hear things had gone well at school for you.Thats one good thing then! Love Jess xx

Go on you know you want to...


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