Monday, 28 November 2011

Why Not Having My Husband Around Might Save Our Marriage

Seriously over the last two years it’s been tough as I watch my husband become enthralled with his new job to the extent that me, his wife, and our two boys seem to disappear off his radar.
When he does get home, invariably after the boys have gone to bed and sometimes even when I have, he’s exhausted and we barley manage supper let alone a conversation.
It doesn’t get much better at weekends with him having siestas in order to catch up while I try to entertain the boys and not wake up Daddy.
I’ve said it before; it’s not much of a family life.
So me saying that not having him around just might save our marriage may seem a bit strange. But I really think it will help.
In fact I am really looking forward to it.
The idea is that he stays up in London three or four nights a week and comes home at the end of the week rested and restored because he does not have to commute. You never know he may even make it home early on the nights he does come back because he has had the freedom to work late while he is in London.
A friend is renting a two bedroom flat and has a room spare during the early part of the week and this could be perfect for us. It’s in an area we used to live in and where a lot of our London friends still reside.
Dear Charlie could drive down on a Sunday night, bicycle into work at Blackfriars all week, then drive back on a Thursday night. Commute in by train on Friday and that’s it.
Only one day of having to get up at 5am!
Only one day a week of train commuting.
Bearing in mind it costs us £6000 a year for him to commute this must surely be a win:win solution in more ways than one for us!
Why didn’t I think of it before!
You never know we may land up renting our own flat and then I could pop down during the week…we may even be able to go out…!!!!


Naked Mommy said...

Seems like a good solution. I get what you mean... he isn't really present when he's around (not fault of his own, too tired), so hopefully when he's home, you can spend quality time together. And hopefully YOU can get a break from everyone every so often!

About Last Weekend said...

That would be fun and fresh to get together in london for a proper date night! The commuting (and we lived in Notting Hill) in London is one of the reasons that drove us out to another country! After 15 years kevin would have to go to a coffee shop to help him face the underground!

Tattie Weasle said...

Naked Mommy - H'es not about when he's here and I miss him. Hopefully this is the answer to my prayers!
About Last Weekend - Date Night inLonond - I can see that this could be an expensive experience but one whioch will be SO worth it! (Feel for Kevin, I used to walk everywhere rather than go by tube even from Battersea where I lived to Oxford Circus where I worked!)

Bluestocking Mum said...

Tough one this, Tattie, and please, don't give a second thought to my experiences. (This long distance living was the beginning of the end for my marriage but I had a weak husband and yours sound like a gem.)

What makes me sad is how the workplace today puts these sorts of demands on individuals and families, and reading between the lines of your blog, how accepting we are that this type of lifestyle is the norm - as if having a job, and the rewards and benefits of a good job is the price we pay and somehow justifies the sacrifices of being with loved ones and seeing children grow up.

Think you'll know where I'm coming from.


Nora said...

I hope that this is a solution for you guys and that it doesn't drive you further apart. I do appreciate the time it will give you on your own. I think that's good. It will be better than spending it with an overtired, grumpy husband. I hope the time he does spend with you will be quality time and that he will really appreciate it. Hopefully he can put any thoughts of work behind him. XOX

Exmoorjane said...

Yup, sounds like a sensible solution to me. When we first moved to Somerset, Adrian was in London all week and it worked fine. Okay, so I started talking A LOT to the cashiers at Sainsburys...but then I didn't know anyone in the village.. But other than that... xxxxxxx

mum in meltdown said...

This could be a very sensible solution. If he can return refreshed and less tired and can then spend time with you all, it will definitely be worth him being away for those ew days each week. Fingers crossed for you that it's a great solution :)

Go on you know you want to...


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