Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Chocolate whispers…

Why is it so easy to give up something you don’t have to start until tomorrow? It makes you forget yourself and become quite rash.

I have given up chocolate for the duration and everywhere I go I can feel it and it whispers sweet nothings and I start to salivate and my tummy grumbles – it’s not a pretty sight.

I have just been down to the kitchen to get myself some tea and there it was, or should I say they, right next to the toaster – 12 McVities Jaffa Cakes and 12 chocolate mini rolls. All present. All correct. And all counted by The Boy.

I should never have tried to explain Lent and the reason why we have Pancakes on Shrove Tuesday. I got carried a way by my own cleverness and have now been hoisted by my own petard.

It all started out so well on our drive to school…

Me: What day is it today, Boy?

Him: Tuesday

Me: Did you know that today is a very special Tuesday? It’s Shrove Tuesday!

Him: What’s Shrove mean?

Hmm what does Shrove mean?

Me – not answering the question: On this day we have a big feast with pancakes to remind ourselves how good Jesus was

Him: Was he good?

Me: Yes of course he was and no more so than when he went into the desert and said no to the devil’s temptations.

Him: What’s a tempertation?

Right OK a temptation, how do you explain that?

I flicked a glance in the rear-view mirror and spied The Littlest staring intently at me and inspiration flowed…

Me: You know when The Littlest is being really annoying and you want him to stop and he wont and you feel like shutting the door on him ‘cos you know he can’t reach it and you can and you know you really shouldn’t because that would be mean. That feeling is a temptation. A temptation is doing something you know you could but that you know would be wrong or mean.

My explanation is met with a wall of silence. This of course could be a good thing but experience has forewarned me that it only precedes a further onslaught.

Him: What’s the devil?

Oh Lord! Theology was never my strong point!

Me: A bad, nasty being who wanted Jesus to rule the world with magic instead of with love but Jesus said no even though he could have done it if he wanted to.

More silence

Him: So why do we eat pancakes? Is it ‘cos they are nice and so was Jesus?

Me: Absolutely.

I felt fine after this interlude, actually quite buoyed up and on returning home set about making pancake mixture in anticipation of a fun filled teatime.

As I said it all started out so well – The Boy and The Littlest in due course returned home and pancakes were at the ready, there was a lot of mess and a lot of laughter and then…

Him: Mum what are you giving up for Lent?

I nearly missed catching a pancake, as these are words I don’t like to hear and my immediate thought after the word “Chocolate” was that The Boy was spending far too much time than was good for him listening in lessons. However, my conscience was working overtime and because I was caught left field I blurted out: “Chocolate.”

Him - awestruck: So you’re not going to eat any chocolate until Easter!

Me – desperately backtracking: Well I’ll try, ‘cos were not all as good as Jesus and (oh joy I remembered Sundays off!) you can do what you’ve given up on Sundays. So Mummy can eat chocolate on Sundays but only then. That’s why Sunday’s are special.

Him: So I can have Sunday off too?

Me: I suppose so, what have you decided to give up?

Him: Being Naughty

I suddenly had a vision of what Sundays would be like for the foreseeable future. No more lie-in and a screams emanating from the four corners of the house…

Him- seriously: Giving up being naughty is going to be very hard.

Me: Don’t worry Darling I’ll help you. It would be no good giving up something that was easy. It wasn’t easy for Jesus.

There was a long silence as he finished eating his pancake, which was covered in chocolate sauce.

Him: I know, I’ll help you too. I could count all the chocolates then you wouldn’t be able to eat any….

I love my children, I really really do!


pinkfairygran said...

Oh, giving up chocolate is hard.... it is addictive isn't it? I have found it easier to drastically reduce my intake by the arrival of three small stomach ulcers, which permit me eating most of the really tasty goodies I liked to treat myself with. I won't list them, in case you're giving up them as well! But it's not a way I recommend to make giving up the luscious, mouth filling gorgeousness easier.

Tattie Weasle said...

PFG - I don't know whether to squirm in sympathetic pain or to just rush downstairs and hog out...but I WILL be least until Sunday!

ChrisH said...

Can't you say that some chocolate is permitted as an essential nutrient because of the training you're doing for the marathon?? Or is that cheating?

Anonymous said...

ChrisH is quite right. You can give up 'chocolate' but you really shouldn't give up 'marathon energy bars containing cocoa solids'.

All for a good cause!

I'm planning on giving up marathon running. But that might have to wait until May.

Cait O'Connor said...

I have nopt eaten choccy or drunk alcohol since 23rd August 2008! Trying to stop migraines forced me to do this and it has lessened the attacks.
Actually real chocolate is good for the heart you know....

Anonymous said...

I'm not surprised you love them, they are adorable! I keep racking my brains for something to give up. Chocolate was very far down on the list but just recently I have decided that losing weight needs to be something I think about very seriously so perhaps giving up chocolate might be a start. But with all the Easter Eggs on show, it's not gonna be easy!!

CJ xx

Pondside said...

There you go, Tattie, Chocolate Police in your very own house - you'll have no trouble sticking to the abstinence with his help!
Thank heavens for Sundays......but perhaps you could help him to find something other than naughtiness to give up!

Milla said...

E has given up booze, but we're going out Friday night so he's going to swap this Sunday for Friday. Then I reminded him that it's my birthday on MOnday (which is why I can never give up anything for Lent, shallow hussy that I am) and my parents are coming to lunch on Sunday so he'll need that Sunday, and will need to borrow from the next Sunday for birthday champers (oh, ok, cava) so it's all getting a bit complicated. Anyway, good luck, I reckon the first day is the hardest.

Frances said...

Tattie, I have been thinking about what to give up for Lent. I have managed no chocolate a few times in the past. So why not this year, too.

I will join you in the no chocolate zone! (I didn't know about Sunday being an exception day. Think I will stick with the full seven day deprivation ... easier for me that switching back and forth.)

Best of luck! I loved your explanations to the young.


Lanny said...

Oh dear, you have a mighty sweet boy. I pray that you not only have success with your chocolate and he with his naughtiness-less, that you and your boy continue to develop your encouragement of one another. So good for him to know he can help you.

I've read some of your other posts. Never knew depression as a black dog, but hey that is a good name. I raised four girls with my own black dog nipping constantly at me. They learned to bring me coffee in the morning when they wanted me to finally get up. But until they arrived at that age, pulling myself out when I could hear them stirring, ugh it was hard. Sorry to get so chatty on my first visit but you have touched a tender spot, its good.

Elizabethd said...

Oh Mummy!!!
It's easier said than done.

Suffolkmum said...

Ooh me too Tattie - we should email each other when we get tempted! It's so hard - I have a very sweet tooth. BTW, I just read you rpost below, I hadn't seen your Purplecoo one either since as you know I went cold turkey for a whole .... it was unbearably moving and brave but please, I so agree with Elizabeth, please don't tell your children that Mummy is nasty - you're NOT. My Mother suffered from acute depression when I was little and we have a great relationship,always did and not for one minute have I ever blamed her, so do take heart. x

snailbeachshepherdess said...

bless him!

KittyB said...

Ouch - small chocolate police - not good. So, we won't be meeting at Betty's again until after Easter then? Too much temptation!

Iota said...

"Is it 'cos they are nice and so was Jesus?" - I love it!

Frog in the Field said...

I'd be going off them a bit after that!

Expat mum said...

I don't know what's happened in our house. I'm not at all religious and they go to a non-denominational school, where many of their friends are jewish. Nevertheless, they both came home and asked me what i was giving up for Lent. Not what THEY were giving up, mind you. I just told them I had led a life of deprivation and goodness (cough, cough) and didn't need to do anything. Fortunately they know me.

Frog in the Field said...

You sound like me...biscuits call me from their hiding places.

Calico Kate said...

What a lovely post Tattie - a very smiley day!
Perhaps you could tell them that dark chocolate doesn't count as it is good for you? Even if it comes in the form of a Fry's chocolate cream ........

Go on you know you want to...


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