Thursday, 10 November 2011

Bringing up Boys - Having to be the centre of attention

Tonight it's just me and him, the youngest, Bog Boy. He'll be my centre of attention. It's not often that it happens that I get just the one boy to deal with and when it does, I look forward to it.
Quality time without the other barging in.
Bliss.
Usually on the way home from school in the car I ask about their days and I have to screen out the noise of one as the other answers the questions. It's like they cannot bear not being the centre of attention and that even if it is Mum, or maybe because it is me, they have to ensure the light of my regard is shining on them and not on the other. I find it exhausting trying to be fair and I hate myself for having to yell say:
"I am not listening to you I am talking to your brother."
"I will talk to you later!"
"Be quiet I am trying to listen!"
Or else just ignoring them.
Sometimes it gets so bad I switch on the radio or CD and turn up the volume really, really, loud so I can hear neither of them.
I've just started to pop one in the front, now that they are big enough, so that they are separated. It stops the petty squabbling and silliness which more often than not colours our car journeys and makes my life hell. It also allows me to talk to each boy as an individual rather than the package which is "The Boys". I am hoping it will make my life seem less fraught or failing that I will be able to drive without getting a headache!

5 comments:

PantsWithNames said...

Same in this household - it is infuriating!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I often think about having more than one child - I'm honestly not sure I could cope. I know that sounds daft but after 12 years of having just one child, I don't think having two would be such a good idea, lol.

CJ xx

Mother Hen said...

It's lovely having a boy in the front with you as long as they will talk to you. When they become teenagers, you want them in the back again!

Nora said...

If one is more assertive than the other, make sure they get equal time. My son always felt snowed under by his older sister. XOX

k. said...

Same here! And when I try ignoring both of them, it turns into Lord of the Flies because they think mum's not listening Kx

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