Monday, 31 October 2011

Who said being a parent is easy?

Yeh we all did, when we weren’t parents. You remember we’d look at hassled mothers dragging screaming children round the shops and think: “For chrissake! Get a grip on yourself and the child, it can’t be that difficult, the human race has been round for a long time!”
And you’d listen to them moaning on and on about how tired they were and you’d look at them unbelieving “Good God woman all you have to do is stay at home all day! Try doing a real job.”
Do you ever feel foolish now?
Now that you know what it is all about?
Would you ever think such thoughts again?
Nope, didn’t think so!
The problem with parenting is that until you are one you will have NO idea. The world is split into those who are and those who are not. And never the twain shall meet.
I have friends who do not have children and they just have no clue. For them sitting down to eat dinner at 9pm is normal but by that time my kids would have started to chew my arm off.
Bless my friends; they think getting up early is 7am! Hello! Try an hour earlier and no it is not because I want to pop down to the gym. THEY are awake at that time, they need feeding and watering and making sure they go to the loo. They need separating from each other as well before they kill each other and sorting out in time to go to school. And yes it does take me two hours to do that - I’ve got to fit in the rest of my life as well you know. Dogs, chickens, housework!
And no I can’t just leave them on their own at the drop of a hat to go to the cinema when they are sleeping. Yes they won’t know about it because they are sleeping but there is a law I am sure that says it is not right to abandon your kids without supervision while you go a-gallivanting.
So I would agree that I am not the same as I was before, I would agree that I am not spontaneous anymore. When you are a parent you need to plan a little and things take longer to do. And there never seems to be enough time. And the thing is you have to prioritise. It’s no longer all about me. It’s about my boys…and it aint easy to be a parent.


Spencer Park said...

I have no idea what you mean - I find it a piece of cake!

Tattie Weasle said...

Spencer Park - you are one sad sick puppy!!! ;)

mrsnesbitt said...

I couldn't have children - but I would have tried my hardest to be a good mum - just like I had and just like you are. People say I would have been a great mother, but I was never given the opportunity. Still, I am alive which was touch and go at one point....I think I have got over not being blessed as a mum - then things like this come along and I real;ise I would have loved the opportunity, alas, not to be.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who is just like this; she's the same age as me and never got married or had kids. She's very career minded and only has herself to think about. When I tell her I can't do this or that because parenting comes first, she pulls her face and thinks I'm a saddo. I am still friends with her though, lol. You're so right. You either understand, or you don't. Simple as.

CJ xx

Tattie Weasle said...

Mrs Nesbitt - I had a hell of a time having my boys and I thought I would never have the opportunity but I was lucky in the end. I know you'd have been a great mother. You care. (This post was not aimed at exceptional people like you but at those who think they know and are smug about it and yet have no clue!) {{{HUGS}}}
CJ - Sounds awful but the number of friends I kept you don't have kids is dwindling...!!! For just the reasons posted!

Nora said...

You forget all about it once you're a grandparent because that's when it becomes easy again.

Von said...

My old friend P used to say once they could clean their own ears it started to get easier! She was right but only up to a point.Adult offspring can be a delight and when they take over Christmas arrangements you know you've made it.

Rob-bear said...

Ah, yes, well.

No, parenting is not easy. Even when the children are almost fortysomething.

I was mostly busy working when they were young, so I wasn't the one who was there all the time. But still, I understand.

Tattie Weasle said...

Nora-I'm looking forward to it - though I have long wait. They're only 5 and 8!
VPN - will get straight on teaching them to clean ears!
Rob bear- judging by the grief I cause my mum even now I suspected the parenting lark lasted a little longer than I thought!

Abi said...

A friend of mine is still saving an email from her brother in law, sent while she and her husband were struggling with a two year old, a 6 week old with his days and nights mixed up, hubby's full time job and all the usual housework/bills/life stuff.

It read:

"Yeah, I know how you feel because I once had a puppy..."

She's going to have a copy framed and post it to him when he has kids of his own...

Go on you know you want to...


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