How to keep your New Year Resolution!

It’s all about semantics.

How you say your New Year’s Resolution, No point saying “I’m going to give up chocolate” when you know going cold turkey is just not feasible when you have a stash of over a 100 weight in the cupboard from Christmas. I mean that’s just plain ludicrous as is saying you are going to join a gym when you have neither time nor money and the fact the gym is in a completely different town from where you live.

Best thing to do is make your resolutions as fuzzy as possible for example: I will lose weight this year. In fact you are bound to lose weight in the year there again you may also regain it but by saying you will lose weight doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to be held to account if you do gain weight. You never said that you would not regain it only that you would lose it.

Same goes for chocolate nothing saying that you cannot give it up but just be careful that you don’t paint yourself into a corner. “I will give up chocolate” seems a fait acompli but if you say “I will give up chocolate on Fridays” gives you more of a fighting chance.

It’s all about timing

When you start your resolution or the time frame within which your resolution will run are very important factors in aiding your ability to succeed. (See giving up chocolate on Fridays)

Trying to give up something immediately without proper preparation is a hiding to nothing especially if the thing you are trying to give up is actually secreted somewhere in the house. Best to say I will give it up from February, this give you the chance to prepare for the giving up and allow yourself to indulge in one last feast/binge.

It’s all about whether you really want to…

No point doing anything unless you really want to as you will not have the will power to do it and as well as fighting off cravings or the like you will also be fighting yourself and you know that however much you try you will win out in the end and not in the right way!

Did any of my resolutions work this last year? And what will be my resolutions this year?

Well obviously the nose picking one did not go. I hate to admit that even though I know it is a horrid habit I must secretly enjoy it otherwise I wouldn’t carry on.

Carrying a hanky about, an organisational step too far I fear for 2010…

Playing the “House of the Rising Sun” on my guitar – what and idiotic one for me when the heck do I even get to tune the ruddy thing let alone play it!!!

Strangely enough I did manage to uphold one of my resolutions last year and that was not to wear grey underwear ever again. It really helps when you gather the old stuff and burn it so that the feat physically impossible.

As for 2011:

I won’t be ambitious this year all I’ll say is

Write THAT book!!!

Love is...letting your wife lie in

Today I didn't get up until 12 noon and then I had lounged about in a bath until 1.30pm. It was utter bliss. Yes, of course, I could hear the boys shouting and arguing but they didn't come up to me to get it sorted. For today my husband gave me the day off. I just read, nothing high brow of course just an easy read or should I say romp with an old Fiona Walker  bonk buster called French Relations. I've nearly finished all 794 pages.
There's nothing like curling up with a book that is easy to read and highly entertaining at the same time. It's one I have read loads of times but I like the characters and the story, they are familiar and safe. Perfect for a tired, stressed out Mum, living in the depths of the chill winter countryside.
I feel relaxed and almost eager to get going again. Ready to take on all sorts including the cleaning, shopping, cooking and general stuff required before this weekend.
Do you know the best part about today? I wasn't expecting it so it came as a heavenly surprise. I do believe that my husband listened to me and realised that I needed a break. Or more importantly he knew he had to get me on side, for tomorrow my in-laws arrive!
Whatever the reason it was wonderful.

Depression: Today I looped….

Today I looped, saw red, blew my very short fuse and at the children too. Come off it when is it not at the children? The culmination of my Christmas, year in year out is down to when it happens. Some years I get all the way past New Year, this year it was today.

Every year I say: “Do you know what I just can’t do this.” And every year I get ignored. Maybe I am not shouting enough, maybe because I usually manage to keep a grip on it for a lot longer, maybe because it is disguised that it is easy to ignore me or just maybe it is all too much for them to bear and so much easier just to let it all slide so then there is only one person to blame, me.

I dread it every year knowing that it will happen but just not when. Last year I managed to hold it together until 18th January just after I hosted my mother-in-law’s 70^th. I limped on for two months after that but by the time I got to my son’s birthday I had had it and fell into a massive decline. I rose out of it slightly only to plunge back down again until about October. It was a rough year.

So today I looped. I looped because I am unable to keep some semblance of order in my life. Too many things are out of control and I find it horribly difficult to keep focussed. I have the in-laws arriving in two days’ time, no plans and no food. People have dropped out of New Year without telling me properly and I have only just found out. That should be good with less people but in my fractured world any changes however minor can really set me back.

I need to clean the house get everything ordered and safe. I chose today to clear up and get everyone else to clear up too and then I noticed all the toys and paper and dirt and stuff everywhere. Loads and loads of stuff and I couldn’t cope. I looped and trashed the play room ranting about too many toys and too much mess before falling in a sobbing heap. My boys stared at me with round eyes.

Bog Boy asked me why did I do it and I had no answer for him. He said I scared him. All this form a four and a half year old. He still hugged me but I feel that he has decided that I am too difficult to bother with. I wish I could get a handle on the black dog the rages and control them. I think that next year I will look at ways to reduce the stress. I will say no and I will try not to get myself in the position whereby I am trying to please everyone and land up pleasing no one.

Still believing in Father Christmas...

In a minute now I will go to bed crossing my fingers that I have covered tracks and that the magic of Christmas stays magic of yet another year.

The Boy is getting to the age of unbelief and I have been trying to help him to hold on. He’s heard the rumours of course and challenged me in the car on the way back from School.

The Boy: “The boys at school say it’s not Santa but your Mum and Dad

Me: Really. “Why on earth should we do that? I mean why should we put all those presents, some of which we don’t even like, wrap them then sneak into your rooms at dead of night when we would much rather be sleeping? And to top it all you know we hate it when you wake us so early so why should we get you all excited?!!!” (I believe in being prepared and a little long winded but it covers all bases and seems to have the desired effect…)

The Boy: “Oh. I hadn’t thought about that…”

Today he was in the car with Charlie, off buying presents of his own when he suddenly turned to his Dad and apropos of nothing said: “Dad, have I been a good boy?”

Dad slightly bewildered and not quite up to speed: “Yes you’ve behaved yourself today, why is there something wrong?”

The Boy: “No I was just worried all I would get was coal if I had been bad.”

It took Charlie the whole journey back from the shops to work this one out! (For those not brought up in the North, Father Christmas does not give naughty little boys and girls presents he leaves them coal instead!)

This evening both boys went to bed like little lambs with their father’s warning ringing in their ears: “If you don’t go straight to sleep Santa will not come, he’ll miss us out and fly on by and you wouldn’t want that would you?”

Chorus of two wide eyed little boys: “Nooooooo!!!”

Angels went straight to sleep and not a murmur or a peep have we heard…

Hope Santa has been good to you all. Have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Review: ThinkingSlimmer – I can’t believe it!

Sounds bonkers: allow a bloke to chat to you as you drift off to sleep and you’ll lose weight. It was that easy.

I started off with a big dose of scepticism. Hypnotherapy is a load of old tosh isn’t it? I mean, it’s for weak willed, susceptible people not for hardened old hacks like me.

Well I was wrong it does work but only if you really want it to. That is the big proviso with ThinkingSlimmer. You must really want to lose weight and then it will work. I chose the Drop Two Dress Sizes programme and was sent a CD as I am no good with new tech and downloading it was beyond me. I was then sent a log book to download and affirmative e-mails every day to help me focus.

I will admit I have not been good at doing my log book but I have been religious in listening to my CD each night for the past 18 days.

I started off weighing in at 156lbs I now weigh as of this morning 149.9lbs. A whole half stone!!!! Now that is unbelievable isn’t it? As you can imagine I am thrilled though I still have a long way to go (13lbs) but the thing that is brilliant is that the support, the Hypnotherapy and the writing down of changes reinforces each other and helps me battle with my lack of will power so that I can achieve my goals.

I have not dieted, although I have changed my eating patterns. I am not snacking nor am I eating such big portions. I am aware of what I am eating and drinking and opting to go for the healthier alternative. I have no idea whether I will be able to go through Christmas as lightly but we shall see. This will be the big test and I feel Ok about it…

God rest ye merry mothers who...

God rest ye merry, mothers who,

Have lists of lists of lists

For you will find you cannot win

And there’ll be loads you’ve missed

So ditch your aprons and relax

Kick back and let’s get pissed:

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

From Aunty Glad to Cousin Fred

The Christmas cards have flown

It is a task that Mother hates

And one that makes her moan

And then she gets another one

From someone quite unkown…

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

The children now are all a bed

And Mother must be quiet

Stuffing presents in the stockings

Reminds her she must diet

For on Christmas morn Santa did come

And there will be a riot

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

In Kitchens now around the world:

The blessèd turkey roasts,

And mother’s been up since dawn

She’s looking like a ghost

And all because she wants it right

And so that she can boast…

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

The foods been ate and presents given

It’s time for the Queen’s Speech

But Mother's in the kitchen still

Her arms deep in the bleach

For someone has to clear up

“And it’s always me!” she’ll screech

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

So God rest ye merry, mothers who,

Have lists of lists of lists

For you will find you cannot win

And there’ll be loads you’ve missed

So ditch your aprons and relax

Kick back and let’s get pissed:

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.