God rest ye merry, mothers who,
Have lists of lists of lists
For you will find you cannot win
And there’ll be loads you’ve missed
So ditch your aprons and relax
Kick back and let’s get pissed:
O Christmas comes but once a year,
Once a year,
O Christmas comes but once a year.
From Aunty Glad to Cousin Fred
The Christmas cards have flown
It is a task that Mother hates
And one that makes her moan
And then she gets another one
From someone quite unkown…
O Christmas comes but once a year,
Once a year,
O Christmas comes but once a year.
The children now are all a bed
And Mother must be quiet
Stuffing presents in the stockings
Reminds her she must diet
For on Christmas morn Santa did come
And there will be a riot
O Christmas comes but once a year,
Once a year,
O Christmas comes but once a year.
In Kitchens now around the world:
The blessèd turkey roasts,
And mother’s been up since dawn
She’s looking like a ghost
And all because she wants it right
And so that she can boast…
O Christmas comes but once a year,
Once a year,
O Christmas comes but once a year.
The foods been ate and presents given
It’s time for the Queen’s Speech
But Mother's in the kitchen still
Her arms deep in the bleach
For someone has to clear up
“And it’s always me!” she’ll screech
O Christmas comes but once a year,
Once a year,
O Christmas comes but once a year.
So God rest ye merry, mothers who,
Have lists of lists of lists
For you will find you cannot win
And there’ll be loads you’ve missed
So ditch your aprons and relax
Kick back and let’s get pissed:
O Christmas comes but once a year,
Once a year,
O Christmas comes but once a year.
