Monday, 6 December 2010

How I was saved from myself by the Wickedest Whippet

Let me start off by saying that Sassy, the wickedest whippet has not been softened by motherhood and she let me know in no uncertain terms today but I will give her credit where credit is due, she did save me from myself.
Having just come off the telephone from having a severe ear bashing by one of my nearest and dearests, I immediately went to comfort myself from the cake tin. I do find food so much more gratifying when I cry especially the sweet stuff. Anyway just as I was about to satisfy my emotional needs with a piece of M&S chocolate fudge brownie, the one with the pieces of chocolate on the top, the telephone rang again and in my naiveté I dashed to pick it up thinking it was the relli calling to say sorry, leaving my repast on the top shelf of the dresser.
Please note that old habits die hard and even though I thought I knew that Sassy had seriously mellowed, I still erred on the side of caution.
Anyway it wasn’t said relli but the tree surgeon checking about getting to the house next week to measure up all our trees (another story I promise). Some quarter of an hour later I manage to extricate myself from the telephone only to find that the cake had disappeared though the plate was in exactly the same position.
At this stage I had my suspicions but there was no evidence to pin the job on her and she’s getting a dab hand at acting all innocent. It could have been the cat but she’s not as agile as she once was. It could have been J but I swear he was in the barn. Whoever did it, the fact was it had gone. So feeling rather put out I stomped up the stairs to my office deliberately leaving the EBJ incarcerated with her puppies in the kitchen. She was not amused.
In the haven of my office I checked my emails and spied one reminding me about the diet I am on. That jolted me! Having got so upset by the earlier telephone call I had completely forgotten my pledge on Day One of the dieting experiment! Typical me to attempt to fall at the first hurdle, but wait I had been saved. I had not eaten the forbidden delicacy, it had been nicked. A huge wave of euphoria swept over me and I rushed downstairs to hug my beautiful black whippet.
That is until I saw the kitchen...
There was paper everywhere and she and her puppies were in glorious mid-shred. We all stopped and stared at each other as little pieces of confetti sized paper drifted slowly to the floor. At first I was bewildered. Where on earth had she got this stuff? Then I saw the packaging. The evil dog had only gone and destroyed all the very expensive paper napkins that I had just bought for Christmas. I'd left them on the Kitchen table ready to put away later.
I bellowed, she choked and was then promptly sick all over the floor – and there was the evidence for all to see. Not only had she destroyed the napkins, the toad HAD eaten my cake! Any thought of hugging her for helping me keep to my diet went straight in the bin along with copious amounts of paper and other unmentionables. I am still in two minds whether to forgive her or not but as she is in my office now I’ll leave it to you to guess how long I’ll hold out…

REVIEW: Thinking Slimmer - Day One
PS. For those keeping an eye on me through the Thinking Slimmer experiment. I did not snack today and have been able to think about my food before eating it if that makes any sense at all bar the tiny slip up this morning that is. I feel very proud of myself!


legend in his own lunchtime said...

You'll have to get the secret from your Whippets. Have you ever seen an overweight Whippet?

Rob-bear said...

Oh, dear! You terrified your adoring, devoted Whippet, who always has your best interests at heart! How could you have been that cruel to such a loving companion?

I must confess, though, that I have entertained similar thoughts about Miss Sadie, especially after she chewed up my second pair of $500.00 glasses!

Preseli Mags said...

Oh poor Sassy! So careful not to leave a trace of her efforts to help you with your diet, then she sicked up the evidence. I'm not laughing, really I'm not (much) but I do love your blogs on your exploits with your darling whippet.

Incidentally animals always live up to their names. Sassy means lively and spirited. She just can't help herself.

Expat mum said...

Very funny. I love it when they get caught out. Mine would have been walking around with the "Who me?" look on her face and a giant piece of chocloate fudge still on her nose!

Go on you know you want to...


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