- "I am very detail-oreinted."
- "I have a bachelorette degree in computers."
- "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
- "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
- "Served as assistant sore manager."
- "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."
- "Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."
- "Special skills: Thyping."
- "Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes."
- "I can play well with others."
- "I have exhaustive experience in manufacturing."
- "Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings."
- "My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had."
- "I eat computers for lunch."
- "Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years."
- "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."
- "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."
- "I am the king of accounts payable reconciliation."
- "Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle."
- "I like slipping and sliding around behind the counter and controlling the temperature of the food."
- "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
- "Reason for leaving last job: Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state."
- "I love dancing and throwing parties."
- "I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."
- "I am a rabid typist."
- "Special Skills: Speak English
- "Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984."
- "Experience with: LBM-compatible computers."
- "Fortunately because of stress, worked in the cardiac intensive-care ward."
- "Typing Speed: 756 wpm."
- "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."
- "Personal Qualities: Outstanding worker; flexible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year."
- "My experience in horticulture is well-rooted."
- "Extensive background in public accounting. I can also stand on my head!
- "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business
- "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
- "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math."
- "Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the ground up using my father-in-law."
Chaotic amalgam of notes on the life and loves of a half Welsh 45 year old working mother of two in Suffolk UK!
Monday 12 March 2012
Feelgood Monday - What better way to start the week!
These got me laughing on this grey, cold Monday!
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5 comments:
Particularly like the last one!
Love it!
Best (or worst) application for a job I've ever received was for a £50k p/a marketing job - the application read:
"I am experienced in selling and I have done computers".
That was all.
Special skills has to be the classic of the day, LOL..
CJ x
"Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."
Not so much my objective, but it describes my life situation. All very challenging!
And lots of other people with some of the "special skills" that I seem to have picked up. LOL.
Brilliant - I'm not as bloody useless as I thought - though it's been some time since I applied for a job and noone in the world would consider me a speller, a collaborator or detail orinted.
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