True Friendship

Bearing in mind I am dying here, dav blocked dose dan cunnut breath, dav ear ache dan feel sick bestedest friend sent me this. It really cheered me up especialy number 7. Felt I needed to share...

Are  you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but  never actually come close to reality?
Well,  here is a  series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
1.  When you are sad ~  I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2.  When you are blue ~ I   will try to dislodge whatever is choking  you.
3   When you smile ~ I  will know you are thinking of something that I would  probably want to be involved in..
4.  When you are  scared ~ I  will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.
5. When you are worried  ~  I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6.   When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
7.  When   you are sick ~  Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't  want  whatever you have..
8.   When you fall ~ I will  laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you up.
Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.