Taking a break...

I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who has dropped by and visited me over the years and left wonderful heartfelt comments. Without you this would have never latest as long nor would I as a matter of fact. You've helped me through thick and thin and made me laugh, cry, feel loved and wanted and just been there. It means a lot. More than I could ever really say.
 I have been blogging now for five years and I am going to take a break for three weeks. I may blog during those three weeks I do not know.
The reason for the break is that I am actually going on holiday, a proper one for the first time in ten years with my family to South Africa and I am SO looking forward to it!
The dogs are a bit pissed at me but J will be on duty looking after them, the chickens and of course my bonkers house with all its quirks foibles and things that go bump in the night.
We all need a breather..
Have a wonderful Easter!!!!!

My blogging life so far...

215,545 words give or take a few thousand.

Started on 7 March 2007

Comments I’ve made just shy of a further 200,000 words in that time.

My blogging life so far

But now I have run out of steam.

Come to an impasse so to speak.

Where do I go from here?

Total revamp?

Glitzy! New! Dynamic!

What to do?

Can I sustain a complete volte face?

A turn around?

I know myself too well. I am not brave.

Perhaps a break.

Or not…as the case maybe.

If I take a break will I ever start again?

Should I care?

Does it really matter?

It’s a blog not a opus magnus for fecks’sake?!!!???

So why do I care?

Because…

Because of all the words, all the time

Because just because I am not into it now doesn’t mean that I will not be in a few weeks or days’ time.

There should be no pressure about it.

I blog and That’s it.

I blog because I want to not because I feel I should.

I comment because I want to not because I am obliged to.

I have written so many words in anger, joy, pain and on reflection. Sometimes brilliantly, at least I think so, sometimes in a hurry. Passing thoughts, a turn of phrase and oh the words I have meant to write, the ones I planned to but couldn’t quite manage; the slippery impressions, ghosts of the things I could have written gone in a blink of an eye.

Notes on my life.

How I feel.

Snap shots.

My life. Their life

My blog.

Feelgood Monday - What better way to start the week

Don't get me wrong I love my boys but this had me laughing so much I cried....

Are You Ready for Children?

Mess Test: Smear marmite on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fishfinger behind the sofa and leave it there all summer.

Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego. (If Lego is not available, substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)

Shopping Test: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you shopping. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Dressing Test: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

Feeding Test: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

Night Test: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 - 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Physical Test (Women): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.

Physical Test (Men): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

Final Assignment: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers...

 

Thing's Mum's would never say..

"How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
"Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
"Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery"
"Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"
"Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
"Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
"The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
"I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"
"Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"

Basking and Droughts

Jack Russel Maud: Basking

We’re all at it.

Basking.

The dogs, the chickens, the pigeons. the moorhen. Not in the same place I hasten to add –that would be a miracle. But we are all enjoying the sunshine and warmth after a few cold grey days.

But I am worried.

I love the sunshine, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that we are in a drought area and while it may be glorious today I am concerned that in a few months’ time it will look more like the Navarro Desert out there.

I am not looking forward to it. It was bad enough last year with me spending up to 3 hours a night watering the newly planted hedges and trying to keep the vegetable plot alive.

This year we already know that we have a hosepipe ban starting on April 5^th – just in time for Easter.

So I am strategically planning and I can add another 10 water butts to the 8 we already have round the barn. I dread to think of the capital outlay but in order to keep my precious plants alive I think it will be worth the investment. It is going to be a lot of hard work fitting everything and then praying for a little rain.

If we don’t get the rain then I’ll just fill the butts up with water from the condenser in my drying machine the washing up bowls and of course the bath. I had better change my cleaning liquids to organic ones so my plants don’t die when I use the water.

I am trying to think ahead.

While trying to remember the Drought of 1976.

I am that old.

I do remember it being very hot. Hot all day and hot all night.

I remember having to share baths and having a plumb line which we couldn’t go over.

I remember going to the seaside.

I remember the great big cracks in the ground and everything drooping and being brown.

The ponds and rivers drying up and the dead fish.

As I said I am not looking forward to it….but damn me I am going to be prepared!

Feelgood Monday - What better way to start the week!

These got me laughing on this grey, cold Monday!

• "I am very detail-oreinted."
• "I have a bachelorette degree in computers."
• "Graduated in the top 66% of my class."
• "I worked as a Corporate Lesion."
• "Served as assistant sore manager."
• "Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."
• "Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."
• "Special skills: Thyping."
• "Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes."
• "I can play well with others."
• "I have exhaustive experience in manufacturing."
• "Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings."
• "My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had."
• "I eat computers for lunch."
• "Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years."
• "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."
• "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."
• "I am the king of accounts payable reconciliation."
• "Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle."
• "I like slipping and sliding around behind the counter and controlling the temperature of the food."
• "Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."
• "Reason for leaving last job: Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state."
• "I love dancing and throwing parties."
• "I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."
• "I am a rabid typist."
• "Special Skills: Speak English
• "Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984."
• "Experience with: LBM-compatible computers."
• "Fortunately because of stress, worked in the cardiac intensive-care ward."
• "Typing Speed: 756 wpm."
• "Seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable."
• "Personal Qualities: Outstanding worker; flexible 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year."
• "My experience in horticulture is well-rooted."
• "Extensive background in public accounting. I can also stand on my head!
• "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business
• "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
• "Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math."
• "Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the ground up using my father-in-law."

Temptation, thrills and flooded lanes...

It’s raining.

A lot.

Which is good

Because we need the rain.

But it’s bad

Because I think I may have to give into temptation and I don’t think that is wise.

The temptation in question is whether or not to drive my car through the seriously big puddles on the lanes.

You know the ones

They stretch for about 20 or 30 yards and fill the lane side to side.

The boys spy them and then get wildly overexcited

“Go on Mum! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!” they chant.

And the temptation is so great

Foot down, second gear and drive straight without stopping, remembering where the lane dips driving on the upside first then the down keeping to the shallowest waters.

Now this was OK when I had Dora Disco the Land Rover and indeed OK when the field drains weren’t working as well as they do now. But with torrents of water spewing from all sides into the lane and flooded as far as the eye can see and suddenly I am not so sure.

Not quite so sure it is a very good idea.

I mean I love the Silver Dream Machine, my Bluemotion Golf Estate but I don’t think it was built for boating.

“It’s too dangerous,” I say. “We will have to wait until the water subsides.”

So I reverse all the way back to the main road and drive the long way to school. The Boys are clearly disappointed. This way is not very exciting. Not thrilling at all.

It’s much more fun to get into school late because you’ve got stranded in the middle of a flood and have to wade your way out.

I feel for them and suddenly understand why my father used to drive across the frozen St John River in Canada when we were stationed there in the early 1970s. He relished terrifying and thrilling the women in his family. Seriously he used to take our Volkswagen car drive off the road and down the banks of the frozen river then drive across it stopping half way to take photographs. I remember waiting for what seemed like hours while he did this scaring myself silly with thoughts of the ice breaking beneath us. He never put us in danger he always knew it was safe, he just didn’t tell us as such. We had to trust him. I was five years old. And now 40 years later I understand why he did it as I thrill and terrify my own five year old.

I will make sure I can drive through but I won’t be telling my boys I have checked it out first – I mean where’s the fun in that!