I apologise: it’s Friday and the all the dogs are in my office…

Tigger waiting for the Postman

I apologise now to anyone who is going to call me on the telephone and to anyone I telephone today. The reason is that when I do call you can bet your bottom dollar that the postman will arrive.

Now it’s not the postman’s fault that he will arrive right in the middle of a telephone call and nor is it his fault that he will set my dogs off.

Normally I contain this sort of event to the kitchen but today all my dogs are in my office because they pleaded with me and I gave in.

So in advance I apologise for the eruption of noise which will make it impossible for me to hear who is on the other end of the telephone and I also apologise for the sounds emanating from my end of the said telephone.

I apologise for the language used both canine and human. For the ensuing dog fight  as they all try to crowd each other out on the window sill.

I apologise to the postman for yet again terrifying him with my unruly mob and no I don’t think them jumping out of the window and chasing your van down the drive does constitutes hunting with hounds. Don’t even think about reporting me….

If my boss calls I apologise for not hearing that my deadline is due and for negotiating an extension through to next week.

I apologise to anyone asking for me to pay bills or even reminding me; I didn’t quite catch that and I will call next week.

Promise.

Finally I apologise to the Chuggers, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and anyone else taking a punt to approach me in my den thinking that just because I live in a big house I have cash to splash, I will not hear you over the noise and you must believe me when I yell that there’s no one here, I’m a devout catholic and I’ve already installed it.

To anyone else you know me and you know the dogs, the back door is open so pop the kettle on…

An apologist…

I am an apologist. And I hate it.

If something goes wrong even if I didn’t do it I say sorry. I am always apologising.

I so want to be liked and thought well of that I can go to extraordinary lengths to ensure everyone is OK with it. I worry about it.

I hate people getting me wrong so apologise even when it is probably quite unnecessary and it makes me, well it makes me out to be a wimp. It makes people think I have no backbone and that I am weak.

It makes people suspicious. I mean, why say sorry if you haven’t done anything wrong?

It’s a shocking habit because frequently I am not sorry for what I have done or said and in fact I would like to go a lot further however I apologise instead.

I like to think I weigh up the options and try to look at the bigger picture. Mostly I don’t feel like taking the flak as it is just too exhausting.

Should I stick to my guns and have a pyric victory or shall I just say sorry and shut up? I try to remember what Denis Thatcher used to say: “Better to say nothing and be thought a fool rather than open your mouth and confirm it…”

It doesn’t always work.

I apologise for myself because I mostly think that I am rather a silly person, that other people are better than I, that to be honest I really haven’t a clue what I am doing. So I hesitate, open my mouth in panic, stumble over my tongue and look aghast at the product and inevitably say sorry.

Maybe it’s a word I should ban from my repertoire?

Maybe other people aren’t so concerned about what others think

Maybe I should stop being so concerned myself…easier said than done.

Strange how one doesn’t change the older one gets…Sorry!