Monday, 20 May 2013

Bringing up boys: When age starts to count...(the quest to have his own puppy continues)

The Puppy In Question...

God I am so undecided!
Has he really done enough to earn one? Is he really mature enough to cope?
Half of me says: “Let him rise to the challenge even if you are unsure!” The other half says: “No Way! This is going to be a total disaster!
While I may be unsure, I do know that he has tried his very best. He has been helpful. He has cleared up when I asked without a murmur and under very trying circumstances, for while he is busy being good and doing all and sundry, his younger brother is allowed to get away with doing very little and that irks.
It irks, badly.
“It’s Not Fair!” is the refrain.
And I have to keep reminding him what he is doing it all for. Sometimes I think he wishes he wasn’t trying to earn a puppy. Sometimes
I think he just wants to forget it all and be allowed to go back to being able to just hang out.
It has been particularly hard now that they are back at school. For my eldest has homework that takes over and hour to do each evening while the younger boy just has to do a bit of reading and a few spelling – all of 10 minutes. I hate to inform my eldest but that is not going to change for quite some time.
I think he forgets that he IS three years’ older than his brother and now the difference in age seems enormous as my eldest really starts to grow-up.
It’s a combination of finally coming off his epilepsy drugs and just being 10 years’ old. Suddenly he can think clearly, concentrate, see and hear without anything getting in his way, he is more co-ordinated, able to take on instructions without us having to hover over him to make sure he gets it right. He’s more trustworthy – most of the time.
I’d like to say my youngest is taking everything in his stride too – but life isn’t that tidy.
Bog Boy is at his brother night and day making life difficult and I do know why. Suddenly he’s not the one who gets everything right, suddenly he’s not the one making great leaps and bounds in learning and sport and most anything you can imagine. He’s not the top dog he thought he was and he’s just a tad envious too of all the attention his brother is garnering.
It makes for an exciting household, car journeys, meal times, bedtimes, bath times….and it is so very difficult to be mature and ignore your pesky younger brother – and doesn’t your younger brother know it!
And that is where the rub is – can I say my eldest is mature enough to have a puppy when he gets so wound up by his younger brother that he thumps him? Screeches at him? Wails that life is unfair? Albeit with extreme provocation?
The coin is being tossed….


Lou Archer said...

Go for it! I hurt my back quite badly recently and told the 8yo and 10yo that we couldn't 'do' cade [orphan] lambs this year because I couldn't care for them. They said they'd do it and I'm amazed to say they've done it all, even getting up at 6am each morning to feed and clean.

Sometimes we mums do too much for our sproglets when they are more than capable of taking on responsibility. Trust him.

Elizabeth said...

I agree with Lou. It sounds like the perfect time ... and younger brother then has something to work for and look forward to himself.

Unknown said...

Lou and Elizabeth - I think you are right. It is so hard letting go and allowing them to make mistakes though! I'll just have to take that leap of faith!

Rob-bear said...

Well, life around your place is noting if not "Interesting." Two lads growing up, and taking on more "personality." A very wicked (in fact, the wickedest) Whippet. Another dog?

Bear continues to trundle about, to and fro. I hope you continue to be sane enough to cope with all the "joys" of life!

Blessings and Bear hugs!
Bears Noting
Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

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About Last Weekend said...

Sounds like your son is working hard for the privilege of having an animal. Our daughter just nagged and nagged (and nagged) and got one and does the least for him and Mama feeds him and takes care of him. Not sure it's taught her responsibility at all, though I do make her walk him.(my slack parenting I'm sure)

Michelloui | The American Resident said...

Yes, one of the things I fidn most difficult in parenting (especially as I'm a 'fixer') is allowing them to make their own mistakes. But I find when I do free children to make them, they don't make half as many as I expected they would... I could totally relate to this post!!

Unknown said...

Rob-bear - Clinging onto sanity like it was a bucking bronco! Though some would disagree....!!
Damien - THnak you not sure what it is you wnat, do etc but thanks all the same!
About Last Weekend - I sure do make him work for it but I promise I am slack in many other patenntal respects!
Michelloui - it's so hard to let them get on with it! I just want to do it properly for them though I guess by the time they are doing A levels they may not want my help!!! I didn't pass any of mine....

Rob-bear said...

Bear would agree with bucking bronco. On the other hand, girls are worse!

Great to see you back!

Blessings and Bear hugs!
Bears Noting
Life in the Urban Forest (poetry)

Unknown said...

Rob-bear - Thank you it's great to be back!!! Comment about girls suddenly made me apprecaite my parents so much more - they just had girls!!!

Go on you know you want to...


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