City Men – Country wives - why don't you get home when you're supposed to?

Your wife shouldn’t be in charge of a fire

Your wife should certainly not drive

She’s merrily rolling on two glasses

She’s been abstinent all week

But you’ve just phone d up at 6

You should be on your way home

But you’ve lost track of time

You’re still stuck at work

She says why bother

If you cannot come home early

After a whole week away

What’s the point of the agreement?

You might as well stay in London

If that is all we matter

To you

This was meant to be a solution

A compromise for the best

But it’s as if we don’t exist

And frankly

I will not accept it

You stay with a friend in London

Have meals on demand and a social life

Your wife scrimps and saves

And for what

To be told you’ve got carried away at work

Well that’s just not good enough

She’s been alone all week

No grown-ups to talk to

No let up

Just so that you can earn some money

Well honey

It ain't going to work

If you want her to be faithful and loving

You’ve got to pull something out of a hat

The chances of you seeing this are nothing

So don’t be surprised when you come home and there’s nothing for you but darkness…

This has been written after ¾ a bottle of champagne and a spritzer... I have got to get my kicks somewhere…