Pissy woo - the joys of older cat maintenance

They've nicknamed her Pissy Woo. It is not very respectful to an older cat but really rather accurate. For Pissy Woo will just do it wherever and whenever she feels the need. It is rather awkward to defend her in a houseful of Dog people but as I remind them we will all be old and frail one day and we too may have problems.
My boys look at me in disbelief.
"What you mean we'll pee on the floor?!"
I peered over the top of my glasses at him, one eyebrow raised. "You mean you don't do that in the bathroom already?"
The Boy had the decency to blush. "Only sometimes...."
This is what my life is now; clearing up pee. If it's not on the bathroom floor or  beside the downstairs loo, it's on the kitchen floor. Thank God! I never got rid of the child gates so at least I can curtail the cat in one area; though I no longer have curtains and as for the Persian rug...let's just say it won't be back for some time.
I don't think either of my boys will have cats. Not after Pissy Woo's latest escapade; although I do actually blame it on a visiting puppy. We lost Agatha, or at least thought we had. The puppy had become rather too excited on seeing Miss Agatha Woo and had chased her away. We thought she was outside, a place she rarely goes as she hates the countryside being a town-born cat, but it seemed the only logical place.
I forget sometimes my cat's proclivity for small dark places.
We went out thinking she would come back.
We came back half an hour later and got ready for lunch, not cat.
I opened the dishwasher to get some clean plates and was met with an earsplitting caterwaul and an overriding stench of ammonia. Pissy Woo had done her stuff while shut in the dishwasher, how she got there I have no idea. After yelling at me adn mewling in complaint for five minutes she seemed none the worse for her incarceration, for which I thank god for dementia.
But as for the plates, well I decided we'd better have a picnic and put the dishwasher on again. I can only think that she jumped in there to escape the puppy earlier that morning. Thank heavens I am lazy housekeeper and had not put the clean crockery away, just imagine the scene had I had dirty stuff in there and had been more efficient...! It's tough having a cat with alzheimers or maybe she is just making a point.