God rest ye merry mothers who...

God rest ye merry, mothers who,

Have lists of lists of lists

For you will find you cannot win

And there’ll be loads you’ve missed

So ditch your aprons and relax

Kick back and let’s get pissed:

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

From Aunty Glad to Cousin Fred

The Christmas cards have flown

It is a task that Mother hates

And one that makes her moan

And then she gets another one

From someone quite unkown…

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

The children now are all a bed

And Mother must be quiet

Stuffing presents in the stockings

Reminds her she must diet

For on Christmas morn Santa did come

And there will be a riot

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

In Kitchens now around the world:

The blessèd turkey roasts,

And mother’s been up since dawn

She’s looking like a ghost

And all because she wants it right

And so that she can boast…

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

The foods been ate and presents given

It’s time for the Queen’s Speech

But Mother's in the kitchen still

Her arms deep in the bleach

For someone has to clear up

“And it’s always me!” she’ll screech

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.

So God rest ye merry, mothers who,

Have lists of lists of lists

For you will find you cannot win

And there’ll be loads you’ve missed

So ditch your aprons and relax

Kick back and let’s get pissed:

O Christmas comes but once a year,

Once a year,

O Christmas comes but once a year.