Black, White and Red all over!

We have puppies and they are wonderful except that like all young creatures the more you put in one end the more comes out the other - honestly why not just pour everything on the floor and cut out the middle man for it's going to land up there in one form or another sooner or later.
To stem the tide and to protect my kitchen floor I use newspapers and lots of them and it works that is until you run out of newspapers then everything falls apart and it is not good. So Dear Charlie being he loving and thoughtful chap that he is, says: "What the heck let's treat ourselves to a Saturday newspaper, there's ususally loads of supplements that never get read anyway."
Seemed the perfect solution but I hadn't betted on my husband's ability to tell everyone he meets everything that's going on in our lives. Luckily today he only mentioned the problem we are having with the puppies when he went into the village shop. They, being good people and wanting to be helpful, handed him a small pile of left over newspapers, great. Sitting in the car I was handed the bundle and taking a cursory look noted they were all from Friday and since I had The Times on the top and The Express on the bottom thought nothing of it. That is until I got home and had to put paper down for the pups.
I didn't look intially as time was of the essence, and happily put the pages down two at a time thanking my lucky stars that there were no staples. Then I noticed that there was a rather alarming boob staring back at me, it was part of one of those pictures you get these days that goes across more than one page and I had put down the boob part. I hastily used another page to cover up the boob not wanting my impressionable young sons to get a gander. I covered the boob with a bottom. Getting rather flustered and desperatley trying to cover up that before the children saw, I suddenly noticed that the puppies pen floor looked like a pornography website's home page, there were tits and bums everywhere and because I happened to notice, just when you don't want to, some of the poses were hightly explicit.
The goodly folk in the Village shop had only gone and given me several copies of the Daily Sport! I had to resort the the Daily Express to cover my blushes and the floor for the pen! Talk about black, white and red all over....