Monday, 13 February 2012

Feelgood Monday - What Better Way To Start The Week... #3

Got myself in a grumpy hole lately but this took me right out of it!
Hope it puts a smile on your face too!

There are no flies on our children!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' 
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back,  one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'



Expat mum said...

Love them. Especially "Thou shalt not kill."

Trish @ Mums Gone To... said...

Have just had a read of your last few posts to catch up. After the champagne-induced poem for your errant husband and the rant about the PR palaver, I think these little snippets are just the tonic you need!
Hope you are able to get all the work done and spend happy times with your boys, Tattie x

Suburbia said...

Love the last one!

Rob-bear said...

Yes, well, um. . . .

Interesting there were mostly girls in those stories. They must belong to different families than yours.

Reminds me of a sign out front of a church. "Do you watch with the wise virgins, or sleep with the foolish ones?"

Enough of that.

Mother Hen said...

Very Funny., thank you. Out of the mouths' of babes.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

As the snowy haired Grandma , I must tell my daughters the last one .

Kitty said...

V Good! x

Go on you know you want to...


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