Half term is over; and it's back to earth with a bump. Here's some absolute crackers to put you in the best frame of mind for the week ahead!
Happy Giggling!
| UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) |
| Jeremy Paxman: | What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'? |
| Contestant: | Homosexuals. |
| Jeremy Paxman: | No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you |
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
| |
| Jamie Theakston: | Where do you think Cambridge University is? |
| Contestant: | Geography isn't my strong point. |
| Jamie Theakston: | There's a clue in the title. |
| Contestant: | Leicester |
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BBC NORFOLK
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| Stewart White: | Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? |
| Contestant: | I don't know. |
| Stewart White: | I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow? |
| Contestant: | Arm |
| Stewart White: | Correct And if you're not weak, you're...? |
| Contestant: | Strong. |
| Stewart White: | Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? |
| Contestant: | Louis |
| Stewart White: | Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World? |
| Contestant: | Frank Sinatra? |
| LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS ) |
| Alex Trelinski: | What is the capital of Italy ? |
| Contestant: | France |
| Trelinski: | France is another country. Try again. |
| Contestant: | Oh, um, Benidorm. |
| Trelinski: | Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? |
| Contestant: | Sorry, I don't know. |
| Trelinski: | Just guess a country then. |
| Contestant: | Paris |
| THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) |
| Anne Robinson: | Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party? |
| Contestant: | The Conservative Party. |
| BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON ) |
| DJ Mark: | For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope? |
| Ruth from Rowley Regis: | I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? |
| UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE |
| Bamber Gascoyne: | What was Gandhi's first name? |
| Contestant: | Goosey? |
| GWR FM ( Bristol ) |
| Presenter: | What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ? |
| Contestant: | I don't know, I wasn't watching it then. |
| PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO- MANCHESTER ) |
| Phil: | What's 11 squared? |
| Contestant: | I don't know. |
| Phil: | I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle. |
| Contestant: | Is it five? |
| RICHARD AND JUDY |
| Richard: | Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman? |
| Contestant: | Forrest Gump. |
| RICHARD AND JUDY |
| Richard: | On which street did Sherlock Holmes live? |
| Contestant: | Er. .. ... |
| Richard: | He makes bread . . .. |
| Contestant: | Er . ..... |
| Richard: | He makes cakes . . .. |
| Contestant: | Kipling Street ? |
| LINCS FM PHONE-IN |
| Presenter: | Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? |
| Contestant: | Barcelona |
| Presenter: | I was really after the name of a country. |
| Contestant: | I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain |
| NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1) |
| Question: | What is the world's largest continent? |
| Contestant: | The Pacific. |
| ROCK FM ( PRESTON ) |
| Presenter: | Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci. |
| Contestant: | Who Framed Roger Rabbit? |
| THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV) |
| Steve Le Fevre: | What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918? |
| Contestant: | Magna Carta? |
| JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC) |
| James O'Brien: | How many kings of England have been called Henry? |
| Contestant: | Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three? |
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
| |
| Chris Searle: | In which European country isMount Etna? |
| Caller: | Japan |
| Chris Searle: | I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. |
| Caller: | Er ..... Mexico ? |
| PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE ) |
| Paul Wappat: | How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israellast? |
| Contestant (long pause): | Fourteen days. |
| DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) |
| Daryl Denham: | In which country would you spend shekels? |
| Contestant: | Holland ? |
| Daryl Denham: | Try the next letter of the alphabet. |
| Contestant: | Iceland ? Ireland ? |
| Daryl Denham: (helpfully) | It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ? |
| Contestant: | No. |
| PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) |
| Phil Wood: | What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible? |
| Contestant: | Er. ... ... |
| Phil Wood: | It's got two syllables . . .. Kor . . |
| Contestant: | Blimey? |
| Phil Wood: | Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .... |
| Contestant: | (Silence) |
| Phil Wood: | OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .. |
| Contestant: | Walked? |
| THE VAULT |
| Melanie Sykes: | What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time? |
| Contestant: | Nostalgia. |
| LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB) |
| Presenter: | What religion was Guy Fawkes? |
| Contestant: | Jewish. |
| Presenter: | That's close enough. |
| STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2) |
| Wright: | Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play? |
| Contestant: | Jesus. |
