Wednesday, 29 February 2012

How much do you drink? And should I be worried?

It’s the end of a day and the children are in bed. It’s been exhausting, what with fetching and carrying, feeding and watering, work, play and everything in between.
I need a treat.
A lovely glass of chilled wine to wind down.
But it doesn’t stop there does it.
It’s usually a couple of glasses of wine.
Sometimes it’s three quarters of a bottle.
Occasionally a whole bottle.
It is not a good state of affairs.
I didn’t used to drink this much and I certainly didn’t drink on my own
But things have been creeping up on me and I need to face the reality that I am drinking too much.
I have cut it down somewhat by having spritzers but whereas I used to have the occasional glass during the week I now seem to have a couple of glasses a night.
It has all become far too convenient.
Wine is relatively cheap.
It comes in a screw top bottle.
And now I read it is also available by the glass at M&S and in Tetrapaks which may be all well and good for the environment but won’t be any good for me.
I mean a Tetrapak is just like having it in a box, I won’t be able to frighten myself with how much I’ve drunk because I won’t be able to see how much I have drunk until the Tetrapak is empty. Not that I ever got through a whole box.
It doesn’t help having friends over either. J usually drops in of an evening before he goes home (he works in the barn) and whereas we used to have a cup of tea we now tend to have a glass or two.
I suppose I encourage it by offering and really I should not. But if truth be known it is a way of getting him to stay longer, putting off the moment for me when I will be on my own until the following day. Dear Charlie doesn’t come home during the week anymore and while I know this is for the best, it makes the evenings yawn ahead and I don’t really know what to do with myself.
Should I be worried or is it merely a blip while I get accustomed to the new way of life?


Jen Walshaw said...

I pretty much gave up on the drink, when I realised how regular it was becoming. It became somewhat of a crutch and I decided I didn't like it. I do not know how I would managed it my man wasn't around during the week

Irene said...

I think you should be a bit worried because it has become a steady habit and you are not drinking a little bit. You have to try and find another way to cope with the absence of your husband. Alcohol is not the answer.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Oh, Tattie, yes, you should be worried. And you obviously are because you have written this post. I always think that not only is it the relaxing part that alcohol brings, but the whole procedure is so nice. Chilled wine in a glass looks so inviting. But the bottom line is it is bad for you. Why not get some really lovely juices, and put soda water with them and lots of ice. It feels like a treat, and you will feel so damned pleased that you aren't shoving back the wine. I SO understand, believe me, but HAVE to say what I think.
You need to think of a wonderful way of spending your evenings. Why don't you write a book? Or sort out all those photographs that we all have stacked away... all my love. Sorry to lecture. xxxxx

About Last Weekend said...

I am totally the same, was creeping up to three glasses then sometimes more on bad days... Sav Blanc is TOO easy to drink. Now I'm nearly 50 I felt even worse every morning. During the weekdays I try to drink Non-alcoholic beer - it works, you really feel like you're drinking but your're not. But during the weekend I often go over the top! Good honest post...this is what blogging is all about

Humdrum Mum said...

I'm an all or nothing kinda gal, so don't drink at all but then go for it like hell from time to time. It has its uses, but then it's awful cos I really suffer. This doesn't really help at all, sorry! Mr Humdrum feels I'm boring, I'm sure... -HMx (just hopped over to your site from Diary of A Desp. Exmoor Woman)

Rob-bear said...

Oh, dear, Ms. Weasle. Seems like you life is a bit in tatters. OK, more than a bit. I feel so sad, having heard your story. Are you heading for a cage without a key?

I don't have suggestions to offer. Because of the meds I'm taking, which are helping me deal with my depression, any alcohol would make me very sick.

I'd come over and hold your paw for a bit, and have some tea, but long-distance travel would totally wipe me out. Sigh.

Blessings and Bear hugs.

PantsWithNames said...

Have you tried having a few nights a week not drinking?

I'm the same, I like a glass of chilled white at the end of the day. it sort of symbolises the end of the day to me, it's the moment when I can relax. But I realised it was every night and more than one glass. So I'm on a new regime - no drinking Mon, Tues, Weds. And I'm quite liking it. I don't drink as much Thurs-Sun either, not because I'm on a new regime but because I don't feel like it. The one glass does the trick.

So hard though, if Dear Charlie isn't around. Makes for a much more difficult time. Big hugs. xx

Beadzoid said...

It's understandable why it's happening, but definitely not sustainable. Definitely a good idea to take on a project that will occupy more of your thoughts and time in your husband's absence. I wish you look xXx

Beadzoid said...

*or 'luck' even.... *sigh* ;) xx

Expat mum said...

Believe me, spritzers go down far quicker than the neat version so don't even bother with that. I was thinking about my own wine habits, which have been severely curtailed as of late for reasons I will come to.
When the teens were little I drank far less than I do now, and rarely during the week. Why? Once I got them in bed I had so many different projects to do, I was too busy to bother with wine - book-writing (altho' it's tempting to have a glass by your side then), sewing, crafty stuff, house projects. Perhaps you can do something around the house?
The other thing is simply not to have any wine in the house. You can't exactly leave the kids to go and get some.
And my reason for cutting down? Calories. Women in their 40s + need far fewer calories and guess how many there are in a glass, never mind a bottle.

Michelloui | The American Resident said...

I'm with Expat Mum re calories. When I had a foot op and was confined to the sofa for SIX WEEKS I ended up drinking a glass a night and boy did I gain the weight. Lack of exercise obviously didn't help.

If you're worried, look at cutting down. A strange replacement my husband and I have found is sparkling water.

janerowena said...

I had to stop too. Now it's just one glass on a Friday night - child has saturday school - and two each on saturdays and sundays.

Marcheline said...

Tattie, I've started three times to put a comment on this post, and three times I've erased it and gone on.

You've asked a question, so I'm assuming you want an honest answer.

I think the rest of your blog outlines a fairly large problem that you are trying to cover up with wine.

The alcohol will definitely become its own problem if you don't head it off at the pass.

The underlying problem needs to be dealt with. I wish you all the courage and strength and honesty you will need to get through to the other side.

elizabethm said...

Well I drink about the same as you do, maybe a glass or two less but yes to practically every night and at least one glass,mostly two. I don't know if it is a problem. I do know what feels not ok and from time to time I will have more than two and not feel too great next day and pull back. From time to time I have nothing just to show that I can. It's a fine line for me. At a certain level I know I am choosing. At another, I feel I am not in charge. At one or two glasses a day I think we would be in good company with our European neighbours. At much more, maybe not. I am not sure it is as black and white as some of the comments might imply!

Go on you know you want to...


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