Friday, 24 February 2012

I apologise: it’s Friday and the all the dogs are in my office…


Tigger waiting for the Postman
I apologise now to anyone who is going to call me on the telephone and to anyone I telephone today. The reason is that when I do call you can bet your bottom dollar that the postman will arrive.
Now it’s not the postman’s fault that he will arrive right in the middle of a telephone call and nor is it his fault that he will set my dogs off.
Normally I contain this sort of event to the kitchen but today all my dogs are in my office because they pleaded with me and I gave in.
So in advance I apologise for the eruption of noise which will make it impossible for me to hear who is on the other end of the telephone and I also apologise for the sounds emanating from my end of the said telephone.
I apologise for the language used both canine and human. For the ensuing dog fight  as they all try to crowd each other out on the window sill.
I apologise to the postman for yet again terrifying him with my unruly mob and no I don’t think them jumping out of the window and chasing your van down the drive does constitutes hunting with hounds. Don’t even think about reporting me….
If my boss calls I apologise for not hearing that my deadline is due and for negotiating an extension through to next week.
I apologise to anyone asking for me to pay bills or even reminding me; I didn’t quite catch that and I will call next week.
Promise.
Finally I apologise to the Chuggers, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and anyone else taking a punt to approach me in my den thinking that just because I live in a big house I have cash to splash, I will not hear you over the noise and you must believe me when I yell that there’s no one here, I’m a devout catholic and I’ve already installed it.
To anyone else you know me and you know the dogs, the back door is open so pop the kettle on…

7 comments:

Marcheline said...

Great post!

Two words: Cesar Millan

About Last Weekend said...

My kids say I never hear anything they say when I'm on the computer. I do hear the phone when a friend calls for a cocktail though...

Expat mum said...

What is it with dogs and post men? Ours is the nicest chap yet the dog goes mad even when we see him on the street. It must be the cap. When our mail is delivered, the stupid mutt literally stands underneath the mail slot and gets clonked on the head with all the free catalogues. She never learns.

resewn sally said...

My two are too lazy to bark at the postie. They do, however run for the door if it's someone they know and usually trip me up. The cat is far worse. My Lurcher does have an ability to sense people who are cruel to animals, and goes quite crazy when she sees them, even from a distance. So glad she's too old to jump the fence now!

Rob-bear said...

Ah, yes; Friday. End of the week? Well, not quite, but close enough.

When I had a dog, she invariably ignored the postman; not something/somebody about whom she should become concerned. And she'd lie on the couch most of the day, or in her bed, in another corner of the room, or by my feet under the desk. Or something like that.

And you don't get your stories done by their deadline? How horrid! But then, the only person to get all his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.

Annie @ knitsofacto said...

Now I know this is an old post, but I followed the 'You might also like' link ... I think we may be living parallel lives!

Tattie Weasle said...

Annie - Oh Good Grief I re-read this too and it made me smile I have two whippets snoring in my office right now as I type luckily no one is likely tocome visiting at this time of night so no one will be rudely awakened. Have no idea where the other whippet is - secreted on some bed I presume and as fothe Jack Russle...well he's a small dog with a big attitude and I won't hazard any guesses. Now if I had five...well that would be interesting esp for the postman!!!

Go on you know you want to...

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