Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Are you a Saint Mummy? ( or Why I will never be canonised…)

“Are you a Saint Mummy?”
As much as I would have liked to say: Yes! I had to admit that no, I was not and probably never would be.
I always feel the discussions I have with The Boy on the school run must be a bit like travelling through Helmand Province; you have to tread warily as you are never quite sure where the next bombshell will land or indeed if you will get away with none going off at all. While that may keep you on your toes, it is quite exhausting and I will admit I am very relieved when I am back in the relative safety of camp and can escape the more generally lobbed questions round the dinner table leaving it to someone else to take the full brunt.
But it got me thinking. Are there any Saints who were also parents? I asked Google - No results found was the reply. Looking on it logically I shouldn’t have been surprised but I am not one to give up so easily. So I decided to check out if there was a Patron Saint for parents and lo and behold St Rita of Cascia came up in 0.43 seconds. But what I found rather disconcerting was that St Rita is better known as the Patron Saint of Hopeless Causes.
With that happy though to sustain me I pottered downstairs to re-enter the fray that is my daily life. In the few minutes of my absence a situation had occurred between my offspring that required my immediate mediation.
Bog Boy, my youngest and most determined, had taken over the hammock under the tree and was not allowing his elder brother to join him. I was requested to reason with him. Bog Boy is just three. No one reasons with a three year old, especially one that has such a rigid view on the right and wrongs of fair play. He also knows that he has a strong hand to play being: A, the smallest, B - the youngest and C – the most blue eyed and blonde headed of my two children.
Assessing the situation as I clear the garden of Dog doings, I start off softly.
Me: Be kind boys, both of you can play in the Hammock
BB: No
Bog Boy responds without hesitation from the shroud he has made within the Hammock.
Me: Go on Bog Boy let your brother in
BB: No
Me: Let your brother in Bog Boy
BB: No
Me: Bog Boy share!
BB: No
OK a straightforward tack isn’t going to work and I see that Bog Boy is getting entrenched. Bribery!
Me: Do you want to have any treats Bog Boy?
BB: No
Well that was quicker than most days, usually we manage to have a discussion about what treats are on offer before he makes up his mind whether to give in or not. Today it is definitely a “Not” day. Revert to Plan A: straight forward ask.
Me: Bog Boy let you brother in the Hammock.
BB: No
Me: Let your brother in Bog Boy
Getting a tad more exasperated as I miss scoop a Doing and nearly tread in it.
BB: No
Me: I’m warning you …
Bog Boy raises his head from the depths of the Hammock and peers at me as if to say ‘And…’
He looks at what I am carrying and well a thought suddenly crosses my mind and it is far from saint like.
Me: Bog Boy if you do not share the hammock with your brother I am going to dump all these Doings on you.
I leave my children playing happily in the hammock under the tree together a picture of filial bliss.


menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Hah! I would have done anything to avoid a pile of turds being dumped on me too! I have to pick up after two Jack Russell's and God, I need to pray to a patron saint or two just to get through it without heaving my guts up. Dis you know that St Jude is also the patron Saint of opeless cases> I didn't know about St Rita though. Now I can pray to two patron saints - should get double the results!

Pondside said...

Mothers of boys are destined for sainthood - or so said my mother while raising a boy after three girls.
If I squint I'm pretty sure I can see your halo glowing from here.

Potty Mummy said...

Maybe I getting a dog isn't such a bad idea after all...

elizabethm said...

Well you might not be a saint but you get a prize for sheer raw cunning! And what a result. I salute you.

Pipany said...

Excellent! Love the tack you took there, though in my case it would have to be duck poo!! x

Arosebyanyothername said...

Ah! But would you have carried out your threat had it become necessary?

Rob-bear said...

Not sure why this disqualifies you from sainthood. The saints were, after all, very practical people. Even inventive.

Milla said...

I've tried things but turds never crossed my mind! Yes, I was going to say that I thought about St Jude for hopeless causes -and St Anthony, while you're at it for lost things.
3 is just the start of it I'm afraid. my 10 year old is still obdurate master of the inflexible non-sequitor. Knackering.

Rob-bear said...

Interesting that you're not posting on your "Black Dog" blog. Any particular reason for that?

seashell cosmos said...

Hey I like how you phrased that, 'I was requested to reason with him.' mind if I use that for my two teen boys? Love it! This reminds me of a poster I use to see in the pediatricians office, I think, but goes along the lines of...
If it's mine it's mine,
if it's yours it's mine,
if I like it is mine,
if I can take it from you it is mine,
if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,
if I think it is mine it is,
if I saw it first it's mine,
if I had it then put it down it is still mine,
if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,
if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,
if it is broken it is yours.

seashell cosmos said...

p.s. it does get better, Tattie. Take care :)

mountainear said...

Definitely a saintly act - resisting that temptation.

Preseli Mags said...

Yes, definitely a saint. Any mother of two boys is a saint. Actually two girls are nearly as bad... I loved the discussion you had with Bog Boy. I have had similar. I haven't used turds as a threat though...yet. As Peter Ustinov said: Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth.

Faith said...

You have an unusual approach! Would never have threatened my children with doggie doings!

Tattie Weasle said...

Good grief! tried to answer earlier but got hit by lightning!!! Doesn't seem to have done much damage tho...
MOB: I'm just so glad I don't have Great Danes!
Pondside: Polish my halo on a daily basis can't you tell:)
Potty: I think it's an excellent idea esp when it comes to tidying up! If the toy's not away then its then it's an availabe dog chew. We have such a clean playroom now...
Elizabethm: I was SO nice before I had boys.
Pipany: Duck Poo - I'd do anything to avoid that.
Arosebyanyothername: I have been known to carry out threats but you must choose your threat carefully - I know one day I am going to be so badly caught out!
Rob-bear: Problem is I feel Saints have to be perfect and although I am inspired I am certaionly not perfect. I try though my eldest would say I am perfectly mean ersp when he doesn't want to do as he's told like eat greens! IN answer to teh second question not stopped just postponed until I get life under control and my eldest sorted re his epilepsy...
Milla: You give me such hope for the future but there again I had that sort of sinking feeling that I'd soon be outclassed admidely I was hoping it would be when he was in Recption not Nursery 2...
Seashell: I just love it. Have copied and posted on my wall and crossing fingers.
Mountainear: It WAS tempting almost too tempting...
Preseli Mags: Love the quote and beginning to feel for my mother mys siter and I were nightmares!
Faith: I promise that is not a normal state of affairs, it sort of just sprung to mind so to speak...

Rob-bear said...

Dear Saint Tattie:

Instead of focusing on perfection, may I suggest you focus on acceptance (of yourself, and others) and on active compassion.

If you look into the lives of saints, you'll find a lot of very imperfect people who were, nonetheless, accepting and actively compassionate.

Hope life gets more sorted for you and your son.

Blessings from the Bear.

Go on you know you want to...


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