Wednesday, 3 August 2011

The conversation every parent dreads...

There is a conversation every parent dreads. The one when you have to deal with S.E.X. Having both my boys at school mixing with everyone in the playground, it was bound to come up sooner or lat. I prefer it later. So imagine my horror while en vacances when my eldest turns to his granny and says: "I know what sex is!"
He's eight years old. And I know they grow up fast these days but not now, not in France and not in the middle of a family lunch. Everyone stopped what they were doing and listened in.
I dared not move a muscle.
Did he really know what it entailed, I mean all of it? God help me but I wanted his childhood to last just a bit longer.
I tried to divert his attention onto another subject, but he's a tenacious little toad.
No I want to tell, he says with a gleeful look. He can hardly surpress his giggles. It's when a girl and a boy go into a bedroom and they kiss and then they...
"moving swiftly n that,s lovely boy, anyone for more?"
"Muuuuuum! I haven't finished!"
"Oh please no'" I silently whisper to the Almighty, "Not now please not now..."
"well', he says, "after they kiss they....," he pauses for dramatic effect and looks me in the eye challengingly. "well after they kiss they roll around on the bed a lot, and that's it, sex. My friend whose seven has had sex....."

10 comments:

Expat mum said...

Bless!

mrsnesbitt said...

Hilarious! Boy what a holiday you are having! Waiting for the next installment!

Beadzoid said...

Oh dear! Hahaha oh shouldn't laugh - I can see how you were majorly embarrassed :)

I'm SO looking forward to that moment with Babyzoid.

Ivy said...

The worst moments in my life were always in connection with my kids somehow.... love you holiday report

Preseli Mags said...

"Everyone stopped what they were doing and listened in." Fabulous timing! Delightful child!

My seven-year-old recently asked me what sex was. Before I could explain my nine-year-old explained succinctly to her younger sibling's satisfaction. We then went back to reading the Hobbit, curiosity satisfied. Phew! Thank goodness for older sisters (and a very useful little book called 'What's Happening to me').

Von said...

Oh gosh!!What's next? Have to tell you when my daughter asked what I thought was the big question I gave her my ready prepared answer.She looked at me and said "You're kidding!"

Rob-bear said...

Um, yes, well. . . .
He got into sex and roll; did he also get into drugs and rock?
Delightful child.
Aren't you thrilled you've got two of the little darlings?

About Last Weekend said...

I am always mortified when anything like this comes up....must be my convent upbringing...Here kids receive extensive sex education, including condoms and bananas in middle school.

Emma said...

Hahaha!! That's brilliant!! They grow up so quickly these days! ;o)

Apple Island Wife said...

My Other Half, as you know, hails from Suffolk and first had sex as an underage youth in his bedroom there. He wasn't seven, though.
My own two children are pretty well acquainted with the facts of life living as we do in rural TAsmania. The pigs have been an absolute boon in explaining things.

Go on you know you want to...

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