There is a conversation every parent dreads. The one when you have to deal with S.E.X. Having both my boys at school mixing with everyone in the playground, it was bound to come up sooner or lat. I prefer it later. So imagine my horror while en vacances when my eldest turns to his granny and says: "I know what sex is!"
He's eight years old. And I know they grow up fast these days but not now, not in France and not in the middle of a family lunch. Everyone stopped what they were doing and listened in.
I dared not move a muscle.
Did he really know what it entailed, I mean all of it? God help me but I wanted his childhood to last just a bit longer.
I tried to divert his attention onto another subject, but he's a tenacious little toad.
No I want to tell, he says with a gleeful look. He can hardly surpress his giggles. It's when a girl and a boy go into a bedroom and they kiss and then they...
"moving swiftly n that,s lovely boy, anyone for more?"
"Muuuuuum! I haven't finished!"
"Oh please no'" I silently whisper to the Almighty, "Not now please not now..."
"well', he says, "after they kiss they....," he pauses for dramatic effect and looks me in the eye challengingly. "well after they kiss they roll around on the bed a lot, and that's it, sex. My friend whose seven has had sex....."