Saturday, 27 August 2011

The Wickedest Whippet has a problem…


The Wickedest Whippet: soulful or just plain guilty?
The Wickedest Whippet (aka EBJ – evil black job – aka Sassy) has a problem. Or let’s say I have a problem with the wickedest whippet.
She’s decided to hole herself up in Bog Boy’s room behind a chair on top of a whole load of dirty washing and she’s not coming out.
Every time I try to force her to get out she looks balefully at me then digs her feet in and won’t budge.
My boys call me cruel for dragging her by her collar so that I can get her outside to go to the loo. I have said that as soon as she uses the loo in the bathroom she can stay inside for as long as she likes. The boys look at me blankly. “You just wait until you tread on the proverbial as you get up in the morning,” I snarl as explanation.
The dog sighs and while I am busy haranguing the boys about why dogs do not use toilets (a word I hate) she trots back to her hidey hole and buries herself more deeply under some smelly socks.
I have got her downstairs but she’s a wily creature and as soon as she gets an opening she shoots back upstairs again. I warn the boys NOT to leave doors open and for a while there is progress. I manage to clear away the clothes and get them to the washing machine and I rescue a variety of goodies ranging from a couple of my shoes, a teddy bear, a biro and a pair of my husband’s running shorts. There is also a quantity of ripped up newspaper or at least what I think is newspaper, it could be an Economist…
However, she’s there again now. Someone left the window in the downstairs loo open and she’s leapt through it and ensconced herself yet again. I can see I am going to have to get professional help. I do believe she’s in the grip of a phantom pregnancy as it is the only thing that makes sense.
I have just been to see her again and she does look ever so pathetic.
Oh maybe not just heard thunderous roars from downstairs I think the whippet has just eaten all the newly made bread painstakingly made by husband. So maybe she was just looking guilty….she really is the wickedest whippet!

7 comments:

Abi said...

Heh heh heh, definitely sounds like a phantom pregnancy. Shame they're not as easy to sort out as a broody hen, I can't see dunking her backside in a bucket of cold water having much of an effect...

Might make your other half feel better though...

Tattie Weasle said...

Abi - Oh that made me laugh and yes it would make him feel a whole lot better!

mrsnesbitt said...

Well there is a piece of info from Abi - must remember that! Bev has stopped being broody - so we are back to 6 eggs a day!
Phantom pregnancy eh?

Tattie Weasle said...

Mrs nesbitt - was a good bit of advice wasn't it? Yep Phantom pregnancy or a serious fit of the guilts....trying to work out which!

Rob-bear said...

Perhaps a doggie psychologist would be of help. Yes, there are such people.

Posie said...

She sounds just gorgeous Tattie...and your house sounds as chaotic as mine. Lovely to catch up at last.

Sandie said...

Poor Sassy! How old is she?
My sister has 2 greyhounds and one goes for biscuits and the other goes for butter!
Everything in the kitchen has to be put in wall cupboards or shoved right to th back of the work surfaces. And, oh yes! I know that look on Sassy's face....Guilty! Wasn't me mum!

Sandie xx

Go on you know you want to...

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