I know it shouldn't matter but it does. I love blogging and I enjoy reading other people's blogs and commenting. I am even getting a handle on twitter. And one of the most gratifying things for me is to know where I am in the Tots 100. It is a great Ranking service and in general fun. But it all that seems to have gone horribly wrong for me. I am obviously not doing very well and I don't know why.
It seems terribly foolish to care but you see I was once a contender I mean I was in the Top 100 and I felt so good. It was an affirmation that , well and this is pathetic, that I was liked, that my writing was worth something. I wasn't in the Top 50 but I plugged away and although I did drop a bit last year, overall in 2010 I stayed in the Top 100. Now I rank 436, it's a big come down and yet I have more people than ever ( for me) visiting my blog and commenting. I post regularly and well feel pretty good about it. In January I ranked 67, so to drop so much in such a short time when I am doing all I can is well a bit sad.
I know many people reading this will think how sad that I care as if I have nothing better in my life. Well I do have lots of things I enjoy, I just enjoy this too.
I feel that I shouldn't care and that I am being pathettic, but it just bugs me. I won't stop blogging even if I drop off the bottom and virtually disappear but I would love to work out what on earth I am doing wrong . For I feel there must be a reason....
Maybe it's because there are a whole load of brilliant blogs out there and I need to get reading them!