Friday, 11 March 2011

The Wickedest Whippet: Tell me someone, why do I like dogs?


EBJ whippet lazing on my pillow
Tell me someone why I like dogs? Why do I have so many of them? Why do I allow them in the house, on the sofas, nay even in my bed?
They are horrible, they have disgusting personal habits and they greet each other by sniffing each other’s nether regions. They eat stuff that you and I would gag on and they regurgitate their own vomit. And then they lick you…
Today I should be writing about the fact that it’s The Boy's, my eldest’s, birthday but all thoughts of that have flown because of what I found when I came up the stairs to my office.
It was carnage. My bag lay disembowelled on the top landing, paper and pens and loose change scattered. The destruction continued as I walked down the corridor, chewed up bits of detritus here, mixed with what looked like vomitus bits of tissue paper there.
I approached the open door leading to the spare bedroom and there, lying in abandon, splayed out in the sunshine on her back without a care in the world was the Evil Black Job (EBJ).
Strewn about her were the last remnants of an Alpen snack bar wrapper and just as I stepped forward to tear a strip off her I felt the slight give you feel when you tread in something soft. All I can say was I was lucky not to be barefoot.
SHE is now downstairs in disgrace, actually she did it without me asking after I bellowed out loud following my treading in the proverbial. I have never seen a dog move so swiftly.
I don’t know when I will forgive her, the jury is out. She is the most evil dog on the planet, she really is! I wouldn’t mind quite so much if she actually looked the slightest bit sorry. But I suppose I will be whistling in the wind before she looks contrite.
The other dogs are keeping their heads down and there is much skulking under the kitchen table and well they might skulk.
I growl and they skulk some more. My nose twitches as it does when I am starting to see the funny side of things and before long the dogs know I am no longer angry. There is a feeling of palatable relief and the animals visibly relax. I make tea and mentally prepare myself to clear up the mess and before long I sit down here at the computer and start to write… it wasn’t the blog post I thought it would be when I woke this morning but it will do, just like them. That’ll do dog, that’ll do.

Reasons why I love them ...
The sleep with abandon..
She's always there for me
What walk would be complete without them...

6 comments:

mrsnesbitt said...

Hilarious - well later maybes. Yes - we have 2 dogs and have had years of events like this - I think the one event which stands out was our border collie Tess - always did her business on a rug we had - always a Saturday night! The rug had to go in the end!

PantsWithNames said...

Just back from hosing down the dog who rolled in some form of poo. I haven't forgiven her yet...

Tattie Weasle said...

mrsnesbitt - ah the dirty protest! Tend to have that more with the cat than the dogs...
Pantswithnames - thank god for hoses! And I am sure you'll forgive her soon...ish!

Bear's Editorial Committee said...

We understand. We also recognize that Bear's life will be very different without his much-favoured Miss Sadie.

Lottie said...

Your first paragraph has put me off my kettle chips....

Tattie Weasle said...

Bear's Editorial Committee - we know. Huge HUGS!
Lottie - best NOT to think too much and carry on......!

Go on you know you want to...

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