Away

Can’t blog. STOP. Away. STOP. Would Blog. STOP. Too Dangerous. STOP. With family. STOP. Need I say more?!!!!

For those in the know or who’d like to make a good stab at the whole situation it’s a long running drama now in its 12^th year involving the lives and loves of two families his and hers. And every time I blog about it I get metaphorically slapped or really shouted at so I don’t do it even though I am itching to splurge every gory detail. But hey that’s families for you! You get the highs and the lows.

Will take Bach’s Rescue Remedy and remember my mother’s mantra: The best thing to take on a trip is an open mind.

Going tribal

Do you bring them up to fit in or do you bring them up to be free?

I don’t fit in and I never have and it was hell if I am honest while I was growing up. You see childhood is tribal and if you don’t belong somewhere, if you don’t fit in then you are picked on and life can really be a living hell.

If you are a strong enough individual it doesn’t matter as you will attract a group to you and create a new tribe but if you are weak, shy, not as clued up then life outside a tribe can be very lonely.

When I hear people say oh yes they bring their children up to be individuals I inwardly groan. Don’t you know what you are potentially exposing your children to? Are you really that dumb? What may be cute in a five year old at the start of Reception ain’t going to go down well by the time you get to Year 4 (Year 2 for girls).

It may be marvellous that your kid can recite the Iliad, whoopee-do but as far as joining in and getting on with the others in the class all that will do is set them apart and unless they are really super cool that isn’t going to be an advantage.

The same can be said of kooky clothes, hair dos, not watching TV shows and films etc unless that is they are also exceedingly good at team sports.

I know we should all be strong enough to be individuals, and that we should express ourselves in any way we want but is that what parents should be really doing? Making the lives of their children a living hell just because they can’t be bothered to look at it from a child’s point of view?

We all need to belong. It makes us feel good. In a group we can conquer anything and it doesn’t matter that other groups are different as long as we are together we are strong. At the beginning of a child’s school career this is what matters we can be individuals later.  I am not saying one should be slavish to society I am saying that parents should prepare their kids to fit in, to join in and not be too kooky, maybe it’s a plea .

My Boy has epilepsy it makes him different and I know he longs to be the same. I feel for him because I was different and I never realised, as no one ever told me or taught me, that I could have joined in and been part of a tribe until it was right for me to be me.

I try to help my boy by keeping an eye on fashion, not slavishly, keeping an eye on the games his peers are playing the toys they are getting and using my common sense. I still want him to be individual but I also want him to be accepted and if I have to go tribal I will. It is my duty as a parent.

An Emergency Trip To The Vet - Part II

You wouldn’t know it to look at her but she dislocated her shoulder this morning. Hasn’t stopped her much for while I have been blowing into paper bags to stop my panic attack after seeing the vet bill she was jumping gates and stealing the builder’s sarnies….

Emergency vet visit

I was going to blog about the chicken in my airing cupboard but now I am trying to distract myself  while I wait to go to the vets with the Evil Black Job ( EBJ) aka The Wickedest whippet or Sassy for short.
She's just run pell mell in to the bottom of the boys' trampoline catching herself on her shoulder.  At least that's what I think she did. I didn't see.
I let her and Gemma and Tuppence (Sassy's pup who comes to dog creche on Monday's and Thursday's) outside as they were rampaging round the kitchen and creating stink with the cat. Off they flew for a good old run around and boy do they shift!
Obviously they were shifting too well for the next thng I heard was a very loud whine and a whimper. I knew it didn't sound right so I shot over to the door and looked out. The dog's were under the trampoline and Sassy was hopping up and down. I thought she had got her self caught up by her colloar, but as I went over I noticed her front fore leg hanging down limply.
She must have dashed her shoulder against one of the legs of the trampoline as she was going full tilt.  I checked her leg and although she whimpered initially she soon stopped - moving into stoic mode.
I took her indoors, her moving along on three legs but seeming to bear some weight on the leg I was concerned about. She is now upstairs in her basket in my office and I am not happy so I call the vet and am due to set off in 20 minutes.
She is being very quiet and is clearly not comfortable.
I tell her it is all right, everything is going to be all right.
And she looks at me so trustingly.
I hate it when this happens as I feel so bloody useless. I am the person she trusts. I am the person she looks to and I can't help her.
I am not sure which is worse sometimes for at least my boys can tell me where it hurts even if I can do nothing to help them.
J is going to give me a hand - thank god for him for I don't think I will be able to lift her and keep her comfortable and drive to the vets as well!.

So much to do...so little time to do it

There is so much that I want to do, and I have so many ideas but they'll never get done however much I want them to.
I 'm not talking about laundry and ironing or making the beds. I'm not talking about  getting the boys to school and meeting my own deadlines nor am I talking about chickens, dogs or any other four legged or bewinged creature. I am talking of the things I really want to do, the ideas for businesses and products and travel and writing and dreams and projects and well just about anything that you or even I can think of to do.
Those eureka moments in the car or while I bathe when my mind is free of the cares and travails of my workaday existence.
And the worst thing is I tell people and I talk to them about my plans and my hopes and then, well they never come to fruition. Why? Well life sort of gets in the way doesn't it? For all I don't want to talk of laundry and shopping and cooking and bills and sorting out the cars and MOTs, for all that, well someone has to do it and the job lot falls to me.
So I am amazed and stunned when I hear of people who actually do do something and do you know what I wonder whether they worry about the laundry and the ironing and I think to myself do you have any unpaid parking tickets and do you and your family get a balanced diet or do you cheat and go for ready meals or else eat the same thing day in day out?
And I realise I am middle aged.
Are middle aged people allowed to dream anymore? Can they put their dreams into action? Can you have a 45 year old young novelist? Can you have a 45 year old new artist? Or have I just missed the boat?
The older I get the more I realise the truth in the saying that youth is wasted on the young.
But you see the truth is I am young, despite the grey hair and the saggy skin I don't feel any older than I was yesterday, I don't feel any older than all my yesterdays.
How the Gods must laugh!
You know I will come up with the most seminal and most brilliant thought on the day I die  - what a blooming waste!

Bringing up boys – why do they do the things you’ve just asked them not to?

What IS it with boys? And is it only boys that do this but when you ask them NOT to do something they immediately go and do it?

Bog Boy was playing outside with his teddies Jelly and Puppy (a cat and a dog) and he was throwing them high in the air.

Bog Boy: Look Mum I can throw Jelly and Puppy really high!

Me: Don’t throw them too high or they’ll get stuck on the roof.

Bog Boy: Look Mum they go higher

Me: Bog Boy move away from the roof they’ll get stuck

Bog Boy: It’s alright Mum I can catch them

I see Puppy go up and there’s a long wait, I do not see her come down.

Bog Boy: Muuummmm Puppy’s stuck on the roof!

I shoot outside and there is Puppy half way up the lower part of our roof about 15 feet up.

Bog Boy: Get her down Mum! Get her down. I want my Puppy!

I ascertain the problem and with the judicious use of a chair and broom I get Puppy down back to a relieved Bog Boy. He hugs her tightly.

Me: Now, off you go and don’t do it again….

Within seconds of me saying this Jelly has gone flying right back onto the roof only this time the process was not as straight forward and demands the calling out the big boys, J and Roger, a roof ladder, a step ladder as well as a broom…

I decided that affirmative action was required:

Me: Do it again Bog Boy and I’ll be having Jelly on toast for my breakfast followed by poached Puppy.

I think he got the picture.

Sunshine

It is glorious here. The sky a perfect washed out blue with nary a cloud in to mar its perfection.

It’s still cold and there is frost on the ground but I am smiling because the sun is shining so strongly and I really feel that Spring is making a bid for it.

The fat chaffinch is pecking at the window furious that there is another male in his territory, he’ll do this all season and I swear one day he’ll actually break the window.

The Starlings are beginning to return and make rude noises down the chimney sweeping and swooping whistles that annoy the dogs no end. They have an unholy sense of humour.

The Rooks are pairing up nicely and I have a new nest in the Ash tree by the drive. In fact all my Ash trees are occupied this year. They make so much noise and mess but I love it and I stand in awe of their aerial displays in the summer.

The violets are peeking through the grass and dead leaves in the wood, drifts of mauve, purple and white. A bewildered bumble bee flies past hazily making its way out in the sunshine, I fear  it’s journey will be cut short for it seems so sleepy and the rest of the wildlife certainly isn’t!

The ducks make raucus laughter in the moat and Mrs Duck waddles officiously up the bank quacking at me for food clearly in a pother with her three suitors this year. It will all settle down in time and the garden will cry out for attention demanding thing that it is and I will not notice quite as much as I have done this afternoon.

But for now everything seems to be on the cusp…