Saturday, 1 September 2012

When you desperatley need a loo of your own...

I love my children but I don't always like them.
I don't like them when I have to share a bathroom with them, it's bad enough sharing with their father. You know the problem: loo seats always left up, an inability to use the flushing mechanism, leaks on the floor and my worst favourite leaving the loo seat down and then you sitting on it thinking it's OK only to find yourself sitting on something distinctly wet.
Boys just don't get it at all! I bet if they had to sit down to go to the loo then it would be a completely different kettle of fish.
But the one thing that drives me to distraction is when I need to go to the loo and they insist on interrupting me. Going to the loo is a sacred ritual it takes time it is a place where one should be able to contemplate the world in safety, in privacy and NOT have to respond with undignified haste to screams and blood curdling shouts from ones off spring.
When they were smaller they would frequently accompany me to the loo and would bang pitifully on the door if I shut it until I responded by telling them what was going on.
"Go away. I'm on the loo!"
"Yes, but what are you doing?"
"None of your business!"
Now that they are older I expect nay silently demand with a raised eyebrow that brooks no crossing that I'm left in peace with my ablutions.
But they still haven't got the picture.
I have managed to contain the boys they are playing happily together, the dogs are fed and sleeping it off no one is expected  to arrive at the house and I am in need of a quiet sit down in peace and quiet. I am positively looking forward to a contemplation with The Week magazine. Sheer bliss.
Then suddenly the door bursts open and I am caught in the middle of a poo.
"Mummy guess what!"
I cannot guess I am in the middle of a huge movement I don't want to guess I just want top get on  - on my own and in privacy.
"No," I say weakly, "what?"
"I've just got a legend in Pokemon White..."
There are times I think it would be a very good idea to get my boys telephones so they could just tweet me the news.


Anonymous said...

You need a lock for your bathroom door. Without ours I'd have lost my sanity long ago.

Rob-bear said...

I find myself agreeing with Anonymous. A lock of some sort on the door works very well. Then you can respond absent-mindedly through the door to their unending requests.

Pam said...

Hahahah! You poor thing. Even when, actually more so when, they are teenagers there is still the need to get away somewhere private from them. I used to escape to the park for some quiet and gentle Tai Chi. I can still see my daughter humphing over the rise of the hill, shouting "Mum! Mum!", then standing in front of my nose babbling on in the middle of the tai chi set.

Cara said...

It's just as annoying being badgered from behind a locked door too! How does their radar tune into the fact that your sneaking off for a quiet moment?

Rob-bear said...

BTW, Happy Anniversary.

Anonymous said...

LOL! I know exactly what you mean! I get interrupted on the loo, too. We always make announcements in this house about when we're going, just to tell the other person not to walk in. It "never" works for me, yet Amy wouldn't dream of walking in on James!

Cait O'Connor said...

I couldn't be without a lock!

The mum of all trades said...

Oh this is so funny, and so true! There really is so escape from them.

Go on you know you want to...


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