Monday, 23 January 2012

Feelgood Monday - What better way to start the week!

For a feel good Monday Morning these whether true or not made me laugh till I cried this morning. What better way to start the week?!   
Love those Church Ladies. They're Back! Those wonderful Church  Bulletins!
Thank  God for church ladies with  typewriters. These sentences (with all  the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church   services:

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The   Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this  morning: 'Jesus  Walks on the Water.' 
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for   Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the  rummage sale. It's a chance to  get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your  husbands.
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Remember in prayer  the many  who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to  love. Say 'Hell'  to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you  off - let the Church  help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of  you who have children and don't know it, we have a  nursery
  downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all  the  help
they can   get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie  Carter  were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a  friendship that  began in their school  days.
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A bean supper will be  held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will   follow.
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At the evening  service tonight,  the sermon topic will be 'What Is  Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the  deterioration of  some older  ones.
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Scouts are  saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be  recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.
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The church will host an  evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious   hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at  5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday  afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to  sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will  be held  Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
invited to lunch in the  Fellowship Hall  after the B. S. is done.
--------------------------
The  pastor would appreciate it if  the ladies of the Congregation  would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
back door.
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The eighth-graders will  be  presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM.  The  congregation is invited to attend this  tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight   Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please
use large double door at  the side  entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday:  "I Upped  My Pledge - Up  Yours".


 


10 comments:

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Great post!! I'm so glad I'm not going to that bean supper, lol.

CJ x

Tattie Weasle said...

CJ - It was just a silly that made me laugh. Sometimes a good chortle is the best medicine!

Domestic Goddesque said...

I really needed that- thanks so much for maikng me laugh.

Rob-bear said...

Oh, dear. Oh, yes!

Misadventure by church bulletin.

And then the sermon topic on the board in front of the church: "Do you watch with the wise virgins or sleep with the foolish ones."

Time to go back to hibernating.

Tattie Weasle said...

Domestic Goddesque - always a pleasure!
Rob-Bear - Oh that IS a good one! Had me chortling all voer again!

Mother Hen said...

OMG too funny!!!

mrsnesbitt said...

Oh these were hilarious! I laughed my head off I can tell you. Reminds me of a bill board I read every morning on my way to school when teaching in Nottingham. "IF you are tired of Sin Come in!" and somebody had written underneath "and if you aren't ring me on this number!" lol!

Tattie Weasle said...

Mother Hen - Glad to make you laugh!
Mrs Nesbitt - I just love seeing things like that - I obviously have a very silly sense of humour! Long may it last!

Wally B said...

Great stuff. Thanks for the laugh

moors-mummy said...

Absolutely brilliant! Thank you for making me laugh. Only got half way as couldn't see through the tears!!

Go on you know you want to...

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