Oh God I want to curl up and die, I really, really do! I have never been so embarrassed in all my life and I should have known!
It all started with me clearing out my office. I have been clearing and organising since June last year and don’t necessarily feel I am making much headway. But I must be as I have been sorting out all the stuff and other paraphernalia in an old wicker box which has been largely overlooked for the last ten years.
It has been wonderful to find lost goodies from college days: terrible poetry full of a young woman’s angst, as well as letters and even my first ever play slip. And of course there were all the cards and doggerel from my Hen Party, some of it seriously risqué - Thank God my boys cannot read yet!
Anyway I was caught out on the telephone at bedtime and decided to take the call in my office. The boys wanting me to say good night to them lurked around the door, looking with great delight at all the stuff all over the office floor.
I indicated for them to go away with a flick of my hand. They stayed there glued to the door frame. I mouthed: “Bugger off!” and made even more frantic hand signals to them while I carried on my conversation.
But boys being boys have a tendency to peer and prod and poke their noses in where they really shouldn’t be and amid great squeals of delight they scampered off.
Finishing the call I stalked after them to put them to bed unaware that they had run off with a bit of treasure, that is until The Boy admitted he had stolen from my office. I asked what was taken and just as he handed me the small black box, I heard the dogs barking and Bog Boy running down the corridor to the stairs so he could see who it was at the door.
I looked at the box in my hand as The Boy said: I’m sorry Mum I think I have lost what was in it. I think Bog Boy has it….”
At that moment I heard Bog Boy answer the door.
My heart missed a beat and then I flushed from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair…
“Will you help me blow my balloon up?”
As I shot down the corridor as fast as I could I heard the mellifluous tones of my next door neighbour exclaiming what a pretty balloon and Bog Boy’s innocent piping voice adding: “Look, it even glows!”
PS: For reasons of good taste I could not possibly illustrate this post.....