Have you always been "in love" with your partner? And how do you know if it is love? Could it just be lust? Does it stay with you always or does it wax and wane?
It seems the process of sorting out my stuff has thrown up some unexpected questions and made me look more closely at my life. And I am a tad confused. I have my ups and downs like everyone I suppose, but let's say, perhaps the way I conduct my marriage is a little alien to some; for starters we have separate rooms because he snores and I don't sleep well. We're not that physical, not that I am bothered. I worry because, well men are different. And therefore perhaps I should be bothered.
But then my thinking took me further am I not bothered because I am no longer "in love" with my husband? And if so how long have I not been "in love"? When did it happen? And do I actually know what love is? Does anyone? And if I have to ask does that mean I have never been in love?
I think I am a little naive and the basis of a good marriage is mutual respectand interests in common - but I fall short on those things too because I don't think I am. Do I respect him? Of course I do! He's a kind caring man mostly and many would say I am lucky to have him but I think we are out of sync and have been for a long time. Perhaps this happens to all married couples I mean it is a lot to expect people to stick at it isn't it?