A matter of self preservation...

Do you ever feel slightly overawed by organised people? You know the ones who seem to have life sussed and have time and money to do the nice things in life like have their nails done professionally. You know grown-ups.
Well I ain't ever going to be one of those people. It just isn't me and I can try with all my might to be organised and sussed and it just won't work. I think I lack the will or else I am clinging all too tightly on to the fact that I really don't want to grow up at all.
I have never wanted to grow up. At the age of seven I asked my Mum if it was possible to grow down and stay seven years old forever. She didn't take me seriously.
So it comes as rather a shock to realise that as well as growing up, even if somewhat reluctantly, I am also the mother of a seven year old. And a four year old.
It seems as though my life has happened by accident and I haven't really had any input at all. I am sort of bowled along in the wake of myself and I wonder has anyone noticed?
Good God! People might think I do this on purpose, that I have a plan. I promise I am making it all up as a go along, well actaully I am not just doing that I am actively lying about it to make it seem like I sort of know what I am doing and where I am going.
I do believe this makes me more flexible in the long run able to nimbly alter the direction of life but I have a funny feeling that as I get older and the detrius of my life, in terms of husband, children, dogs, cats, chickens, house, garden and other hangers on, gets more complicated, I am about as nimble as a tanker on the high seas trying to avoid a flotilla of small ships.
I fear the time has come to grow up. It's not a matter of wanting to, it's a matter of self preservation. But I so don't want to, it seems like such a lot of hard work and there are so many other things I want to do! Although I cannot name any in particular right now, but they are there...
I have been doing the big clear out, the grown up thing in my attempt to get better organised and sussed, and I will admit it does make me feel good. It's not quite been done in 30 days but I am over the hump and at the end of it at least I will know where everything is and what we have got. To all intents and purposes that is quite grown up don't you think? You never know the next thing I might do is nip down the beauty parlor...

And if you want to read how everyone else in teh Juen Personal Challenge did why not pop over to Tiddlyompompom!