What happens if what you are told is not the truth you thought it was?
I am in a quandary for I cannot seem to work out truth from untruth. What I thought I had heard from The Boy I may not have. And me mentioning it has caused allsorts of ripples.
But there again I did ask the school what to do and didn’t seem to get an answer that tallied. It left me very confused and feeling dreadful that I should have caused anyone unnecessary upset.
So I ask you what is bullying and what is just teasing? When can children work out the difference? I am afraid it’s not going to be a black and white answer is it?
And then there is the fact that I am questioning the veracity of what my son is saying to me. For some people children have no concept of the truth and are therefore liars at every turn unable to tell fiction from fact. For others the opposite is true to the extent that they are blind to it.
To be honest I don’t quite see what my son has to gain from lying. But there again there is the niggling feeling that having got my attention in this way he likes it and realises he can keep it by in effect stoking the boiler of my moral outrage.
There has been a lot of talk going on in the household and some of it has bound to have been overheard. I notice I am having to ask The Boy to remove himself to the playroom or else physically checking in on his whereabouts before I speak.
Where once that would not have mattered, nowadays it is more difficult. We are in a place of transition with our eldest and trying to tie in that, and our natural concern for his welfare, is causing me to get extremely confused.
I do not like thinking that my son is lying to me but at the same time I really don’t think he is: I mean he can’t be with something this important: can he?
Perhaps there is a middle ground? A place where he is telling the truth but only as he sees it. I have spoken to him several times about the importance of telling the truth and I know he knows that I doubt him. He tries to make what he says more palatable by slightly changing the story but although I know he is only trying to help, it just leaves me doubting more.
I keep saying I just what facts just what happened but the telling of a story depends from whose perspective you take. Regarding the play fighting issue in the loos before lunch last week, it turns out there was in fact another boy as witnesses, a point The Boy had failed to mention. When I came back to this he said that of course they would all stick together as the other boy was best friends with the one who was play wrestling and he would stick up for his friend wouldn’t he? It is all so plausible. The numbers tend to sway one don’t they?