Wednesday, 23 December 2009

What happened in the waiting room at the Doctors in Yorkshire….

We had to go visit the Doctor while we were there in Yorkshire, not for me, but to get some Epilim Chrono for The Boy for his epilepsy, as in my delirium to get to Yorkshire in time to visit the Dentist (don’t ask why I have a dentist in Yorkshire while I live in Suffolk it’s really too long a tale) I forgot them.
Anyway we are waiting to see the doctor, Bog Boy, Granny, Me and the Boy. Both Boys are quietly stripping the leaves off the suspect pot plant in the waiting room as they don’t have any magazines or toys because they would aid the spread of disease, and all is calm.
An old boy is slumped in a corner chair, a mother is rocking her baby and a dark haired lady is looking flatly at her surroundings, we all avoid catching each others’ eye; maintaining a distance respectfully from each other.
A little voice starts to sing:
Bog Boy: “Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!”
I start to stiffen in my seat. I glance nervously at my mother; she seems oblivious. Doesn’t she know how potentially dangerous the situation is?
The innocent little voice continues getting louder:
Bog Boy: “Batman Smells!”
Ha! that got her attention. Because of all the coughing I’ve been doing for the past two days I don’t have any voice left to tell him to stop. I wave at Mum frantically trying to get her to DO something…
Bog Boy: “Robin’s laid and egg…”
Now I know everything hangs on the next words out of his mouth and I am praying it is not the version I heard them practising in the car on the way up from Suffolk. It wasn’t appropriate then and it certainly won’t be appropriate in a doctor’s waiting room in North Yorkshire.
Bog Boy: “Uncle Billy…
I groan and sink further down in my seat hiding may face behind my scarf.
Bog Boy: “…has lost his willy on the motorway!”
There is a collective in drawing of breath and I flush from head to toe and just wish the world would swallow me up. I am NOT his mother, no I am not. He has nothing to do with me I don’t even know where he came from. I mean look at him he’s blonde! I am not ergo not mine.
The dark haired lady snorts with surprised mirth.
The old boy laughs: “By ‘eck lad tha’s got a grand voice: tha’ll b’snapped up by vicar for choir for yer know it!”
And suddenly the whole day brightens. Bog Boy grins in delight and just as he’s about to give another rendition this time accompanied by his elder brother, we are called away for our turn. We wave at our new friends and depart leaving them happy and wanting more.

15 comments:

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Quite the best thing I've heard all week !
Piano practice pays off in peculiar ways , sometimes .

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Of course Bog Boy's not the one tinkling the ivories , is he ?
Even better ! Now you've got a duo !

Cait O'Connor said...

Lovely Tattie, that brought a smile and a laugh to me.
I hope you feel better soon, I think I had the same bug.
I wish you a very happy Christmas.

Mud in the City said...

Ah - I have fond memories of that version from my childhood, very glad to hear that it is still doing the rounds and cheering up folks all over the country!

Preseli Mags said...

Bog Boy's a genius. He made everyone smile (and who normally smiles in a surgery?) and did more to make them all feel better than the NHS ever could! I bet they all went home and told their friends and relatives and made them smile too. What a lovely festive post! Merry Christmas. xx

Liz (LivingwithKids) said...

Brilliant - very funny! Have a lovely Christmas x

Glowstars said...

Certainly more amusing than your average trip to the drs.

ChrisH said...

Well that cheered them all up. Hope you feel better soon. Happy Christmas!

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

My hubby, who is a GP, told me that yesterday morning he saw a woman who had brought him a jam jar full of her poo because she didn't like the look of it. He would have preferred a box of biscuits.....

Ivy said...

Yes Tatty I often wished that we were given a magic cloak that made us invisible when the kids were smaller, actually it should be delivered with every child... sort of parenting starter kit.
Merry Christmas and I hope you and your voice will soon be re-untied
Ivy

Expat mum said...

Brilliant. It's for this reason I rarely stop the Little Guy from singing. Even when it's "rude" it's usually funny coming from a 6 year old.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Good for him for cheering everyone up!! Even if it did cause a cringe or two from you... lovely post! Have a lovely Christmas. xx

Calico Kate said...

Excellant! So funny!
CKx

Pam said...

...so that was Uncle Billy I saw on the motorway when I was in England was it?

Tattie Weasle said...

SmitoniusAndSonata: A terrible duo!
Cait: We had a great Christmas and bugs all over now well for me at least! PS It made me laugh too but I covered it with a cough as I wouldn't want to encourage them...
Mud: It's amazing the enduring quality of these alternative carols! At least we didn't get the ones his dad sings with his mates after a good night out...
Preseli: I like to think so - thouhg I wouldn't say it he's far to precocious as it is!
Liz: Thnak you. It didn't feel funny at the time but I do love looking back on things and realising that there's no point being to prim about these things!
Glowstars - I should really be telling the stories about going to the Drs when my el;dest suddenly started asking where babies come from...
ChrisH: A lot better thank you, and a good laugh helps too!
Trish - OOOhy yes box of biscuits every time - poo eeugh! But people are strange!
Ivy - Brilliant an invisibility cloak, that and a beam me up scotty machine and life would be bliss!
Expat - I think it's the juxtaposition from one so young and innocent!
Ladybird World Mother - Cringe is an understatment! But at least he wasn't just sitting htere picking his nose now that's really bad...
Calico Kate - Thank you a laugh at Christmas makes it all seem worth it!
Pam - yes it was I am SO sorry. Please note he's no relation honest!

Go on you know you want to...

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