Friday, 4 December 2009

Stars in their Eyes



God bless the Little Children, each and every one but let’s face it not all of them are born for the stage.
It was the school Nativity Play this afternoon and King No 1 was outstanding, but then again I would say that wouldn’t I? The Boy was there in all his splendour balanced precariously on a gym bench belting out Christmas songs until he forgot the words, got bored and started to pick his nose. I promise he wasn’t the only one.
There was the little echo in the wings who repeated the whole play word for word just a line behind; the Captain of the Guards whose delivery was so fast and staccato, that he had the whole audience in stunned silence as we tried to work out what it was he had just said; the bashful narrators who held up their books so high no one could see their faces, the star who refused to dance and had to be cajoled off the stage so she wouldn’t be in the way of the rest of them, the exasperated Angel Gabriel whose younger brother refused to stand in the right place and say the right words causing said Arch Angel to bash him one to get him to concentrate.
Some you could see loathed the whole rigmarole and clearly felt they were far too old and sophisticated to deign to join in, yawning and fidgeting and then suddenly realising it was their line and having to be prompted.
Others were busy waving and making faces at their parents and younger siblings; although it must be said the parents and siblings were equally bad waving and blowing kisses to their little darlings at the moment jus.
Some voices were loud and strong, others barely above a whisper. Lines were delivered by rote and the relief on little faces as they were said without mishap was palatable.
And then there were the ones clearly born to perform. King Herod stomping in all his majestic fury demanding to know who this upstart baby Jesus was as he was King round here. Thrusting aside other bit players perhaps a tad to strongly as he swept off the stage. There was tiny little Joseph being equally imperious when Mary on her Donkey had the temerity to walk ahead of him, and of course Dear Little Mary herself imploring incredulously the immortal line: “How can I have a baby? I’m not even married yet?”
I swear these Nativity Plays get funnier and funnier every year but I wouldn’t miss them for the entire world!

13 comments:

Heather said...

it sounds brilliant! takes me back...

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

It all sounds perfect and the nose-picking is required behaviour , especially for kings ! And , by the way , what was this king wearing?
School performances are always hilarious and lump-in-throat at the same time .
Like the year my youngest's class all danced , dressed as builders , to Madonna's " Like A Virgin "...???? .In her defence , I have to point out that the nun in charge didn't speak English or know who Madonna was ....she just thought it was a catchy tune .

Ladybird World Mother said...

We had ours today too!! Aren't they just the best... nose picking galore and some bottom scratching. Marvellous. Glad you had fun!xx

Nicola said...

Very very funny! I wish we'd had a nativity play but we had Commotion in the Ocean instead this morning. I was watching my poor son's performance so intently that I was apparently oblivious to every other child getting antsy, yawning, singing the wrong words etc. I thought it was just him. Luckily some other mums set me straight afterwards. They did all look so cute - but it was yet another annual reminder that the stage is not my son's forte in life!

Tattie Weasle said...

Heather - it was brilliant. I was remembering when I was a little lamb some 40 years ago (I am as they delightfully call it nowadays a geriatric mother...)
SmitoniusAndSonata - ah now that's another story which I have yet to tell..well I'll tell it anyway. Because there was a fracas over the fact that some children would be having their costumes bought and these would be better than those made (obvioulsy) and there could be a disparity between the lead characters and the bit polayers the school took away this problem by saying they would be handling all costumes and it was probably one of the best early Xmas present I have ever been given - sewing is NOT my forte!
Ladybird World Mother - Bottowm Scratching wonderful; I did have willy holding but I suspect The Boy was a tad bervous...Hope you had a fantastic time!
Nicola - they do look adorable and it was The Boy's last one. But hey roll on next year and it will be Bog Boy's first!

ELS said...

Just lovely - they're too precious aren't they? I love a nativity, the more shambolic and tantrum-filled the better!
E

Pam said...

As a junior primary teacher, I've resided over a few nativity plays.The worst nose-picker was a little girl with the surname of "Pickett". True...and pick it she did, to the extent that you wouldn't think there was any bounty left!... 10/10 in my memory goes to the little boy who drew back his left fist and punched the young boy to his right, fair in the eye...we were all so stunned,mid-carol,no-one knew what to do - very hard to haul out someone's little darling from the very middle of the bleachers. The "teaching beckoning finger" came to mind, but the child's disruption of the whole scene would be awkward.The singing continued, the eye started swelling, and mercifully then it was exit stage left for everybody. Can't remember what happened after that.I don't think it was the first or last of Christmas punch-ups in that town.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

A classic. You should film it and release it to superstardom and great acclaim on youtube.

No nativity plays at all here. I'm missing them!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Not having kids I've never been to one but they sound brilliant. It must be bedlam but in a very cute way! Made me laugh.

Pondside said...

I love it all! I missed the school pageants (honestly!) when my children moved on and up. There is a pageant at church on Christmas Eve, and the first year that we took Lillypad's boyfriend, a non-Christian, his comment to his mother was that he'd been to L's church, where 'a lot of kids were on stage in bathrobes'. I wouldn't miss it for the world - and you captured the treat perfectly.

Tattie Weasle said...

ELS - they just wouldn't be the same if they were played straight!
Pam - Oh my word! That is a classic. There's a new film out over here called Nativity! It's all about a teacher who does the hollywood treatment on his primary nativity and I guess they have spent years amalgamating all the wonderful stries like yours just for it. I'm skiving off work next week to go and see it with a girlfriend...
Brit in Bosnia - no really, there was quite enough drama as it was. Don't worry when you're back the boys will be snapped up in a trice to tread the boards at Christmas...
MOB - Glad it made you chuckle and you've hit the nail on the head Bedlam - which I believe is a very good place for parents I think!
Ponside - it wouldn't be any good without the bathrobes, I find they are very authentic!

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

Watching plenty of nativity plays over the years I've always wondered why little girls have a habit of lifting their skirts up and flashing their knickers at the audience. Thankfully if they are dressed as sheep then they will have cream woolly tights on...

Tattie Weasle said...

Trish@Mums-gone-to - Oh Yes! And boys always have to hold onto their willies...most disconcerting!

Go on you know you want to...

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