Tuesday, 1 May 2012

It's just a little crush...

Ian Somerhalder as Damon Salvatore

Maybe it's my age or maybe it's the two glasses of white wine I've had but I think I have a problem.
The highlight of my Tuesday evenings now revolves around The Vampire Diaries and a particular character called Damon.
I am far too old to have this sort of reaction; especially to something that is far...well too young for me.
I am a married woman with two young sons ( Please note the young popped in here I am trying not to seem too old when in fact even the doctors in hospital referred to me as geriatric) and the dreadful thing is I am probably old enough to be Ian Somerhalder's Mum too.
It is not a fact that is edifying to contemplate.
Actually I feel somewhat ashamed.
It never used to be like this.
I mean when I was younger all the crushes I had were way older than me.
(Apart from that eat really embarrassing time at the Summer Disco in 1982 when I tried to get off with a boy who turned out to be two years younger - my 15 to his 13 - but in my defence I have to say that  he was way taller than me...)
So why now do I find that the crushes I have are getting younger by the day?!
And why on EARTH do they haunt my dreams so?
It is most discombobulating.
It's not something I am likely to confess to my husband either so it probably is for the best that during the working week he works in London and I can watch the Vampire Diaries in guiltless pleasure. But if I let things get out of hand I am certain to make a fool of myself.
Not that I would stalk a crush.
Just that I might, you know, actually say his name at an inappropriate time in my husband's hearing.
Now THAT would be embarrassing...
I know there's nothing wrong with having an active imagination but as my husband and I are not actually together during the week how on earth would I explain me shouting out another man's name in my sleep? Even if that other man has:
A) Never met me
B) Lives in another country
C) Isn't actually real anyway
Should I just lie and pretend  that I do know this character or should confess my crush?
I mean how silly is it to have a crush when you are over 40?
Just had a thought do you think I will have crushes like this when I am 80????!!!
I think I should die now. That really will be bad. That is sooo bad. It's like knowing your parents still have sex when you are a teenager.
Perhaps I  may be lucky; perhaps it is something you grow out of.
Maybe it's to do with all the hormones flying around my body in a last desperate fling at youth in the face of the reality that I am way closer to 50 than I will ever be to 35 again.
Perhaps once I am over the menopause things as paltry as crushes and urges to grapple the nearest man to the ground will just be fleeting and somewhat unimportant memories as I struggle with securing one down on the Times Cryptic Crossword.
You never know I may find a hidden yearning to knit, crochet and do needle point and the crushes of my middle years will be but as ghosts...
God I hope so...


Irene said...

I'm nearing 60 and I have a slight crush on George Clooney that is strictly non sexual. I would only want to cuddle with him. Obviously I am post menopause and have no wild hormones flying around, so I would say there's hope for you yet.

Rob-bear said...

Blessings and Bear hugs!

Tattie Weasle said...

Irene - thnaj you there is light at the end of the tunnel!
Rob - I need all I can get!

Preseli Mags said...

Crying with laughter here - or I was until I googled my own vampire crush and found out he's a mere two years older than yours! Oh dear. I do hope it's the hormones and it wears off soon. Actually I don't think it wears off. My mother-in-law (72) has a crush on Aled Jones (42). We're doomed!

Expat mum said...

I must say, although he's pretty, I'm getting a bit fed up of the vampire look. I need a bit more colour in the cheeks personally.

Jackie Cr said...

I know just how you feel when I watch Twilight and see Jacob Black (Tayler Lautner). Yummy.
If it helps, the character of Damon has been a vampire for 70 odd years, so technically, you do not have a crush on someone much younger, but rather much, much older than you. lol. x

Tattie Weasle said...

Preseli Mags - no we can't be doomed....
Expat Mum - aha I see you're after a real man; think I could go for one of those myself...d**n I must control myself!!
Jackie Cr - I feel better already! Thank you! PS I also have a bit of a crush on Jacob Black.....

Ladybird World Mother said...

!! At least he is good looking. I on the other hand, have a crush on David Walliams, which the whole family find hilarious. Not exactly having awfully raunchy dreams about him, it's just a mild case, but embarrassing none the less! More of a crash, than a crush, I think. Yours is MUCH more thrilling! xxxx

Suburbia said...

Oh god I hope I keep all those feelings well into my 80's! Can't live without life's little excitements no matter how undignified!!

Tattie Weasle said...

LadyBirdWorldMother - Ah...OK! Sometimes that sort of thing happens as they say nothing to worry about!!!
Suburbia - secretly I think you're on the right track; as long as I never have to admit it in public!

Grenglish (@smudgerella) said...

Love this post! It is all about Damon for me too. I love TVD. It is my guilty pleasure. I even googled it yesterday to see if I could find out what happens next...
I am also have a big crush on Vampire Eric from True Blood (there might a theme here)!

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