Saturday, 6 November 2010

Black, White and Red all over!

We have puppies and they are wonderful except that like all young creatures the more you put in one end the more comes out the other - honestly why not just pour everything on the floor and cut out the middle man for it's going to land up there in one form or another sooner or later.
To stem the tide and to protect my kitchen floor I use newspapers and lots of them and it works that is until you run out of newspapers then everything falls apart and it is not good. So Dear Charlie being he loving and thoughtful chap that he is, says: "What the heck let's treat ourselves to a Saturday newspaper, there's ususally loads of supplements that never get read anyway."
Seemed the perfect solution but I hadn't betted on my husband's ability to tell everyone he meets everything that's going on in our lives. Luckily today he only mentioned the problem we are having with the puppies when he went into the village shop. They, being good people and wanting to be helpful, handed him a small pile of left over newspapers, great. Sitting in the car I was handed the bundle and taking a cursory look noted they were all from Friday and since I had The Times on the top and The Express on the bottom thought nothing of it. That is until I got home and had to put paper down for the pups.
I didn't look intially as time was of the essence, and happily put the pages down two at a time thanking my lucky stars that there were no staples. Then I noticed that there was a rather alarming boob staring back at me, it was part of one of those pictures you get these days that goes across more than one page and I had put down the boob part. I hastily used another page to cover up the boob not wanting my impressionable young sons to get a gander. I covered the boob with a bottom. Getting rather flustered and desperatley trying to cover up that before the children saw, I suddenly noticed that the puppies pen floor looked like a pornography website's home page, there were tits and bums everywhere and because I happened to notice, just when you don't want to, some of the poses were hightly explicit.
The goodly folk in the Village shop had only gone and given me several copies of the Daily Sport! I had to resort the the Daily Express to cover my blushes and the floor for the pen! Talk about black, white and red all over....


resewn sally said...

I have just spat my rose wine all over the laptop laughing at that!! I thought I was the only person things like that happened to! Lol! The puppies are beautiful though! sure their cuteness would detract from the boobies.
Sal. X

Mother Hen said...

I live a sheltered life as the only T&A that lies around the floor in our house is Stuff Magazine!

Haven't those puppies grown :)

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Tits seem quite appropriate , given the puppies' age . Your boys education can maybe wait !

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Please excuse me . I , of course , meant bosoms . The Daily Sport is insidious but influential !

Expat mum said...

Those puppies are gorgeous BTW. How's the wickedest whippet doing?

Tattie Weasle said...

Resewn Sally - Have just been put further into the blush when one of the owners of the pups came to have a look again. I had forgotten that the boobs were on show (how quickly it becomes commonplace) luckily noticed before they did and quickly covered the offending bits up with The Times weekend Supplement but is was a close shave!
Mother Hen - I don't liver nearly a sheltered life as I'd like lets just say this was an "education" and one lesson I don't want to have againin a hurry!
SmitoniusAndSonata - Isn't it insiduous! Bosoms is a much nicer word all warm and comfy...but yes, think the boys can safely stay on Pokemon and Ben 10 for the moment...I'm sure they'll grow up far too soon anyway!
Expat Mum - The Wickedest Whippet is doing sterling work, although she now can open the larder cupboard to help herself to cereal etc haven't the heart to tell her off when she immediatley jumps in with her babies as if to say "but is was all for them your honour....!!!"

Posie said...

Fantastic Tattie, loved the image of you scrabbling about to cover up the bottoms and tops and with more bottoms and tops!! Puppies look adorable, but hard hard work, our flatcoat had 10 pups a few years ago...and we had similar mayhem. Watch out for the print of the wet newspapers going marking the kitchen floor.

Tattie Weasle said...

Posie - They are gertting hard work but the are also so snuggly. Husband is dead set against me keeping one howevfer however cuddly maybe next time! Thanks for the tip about the newspaper!

Martha said...

Oh, how funny!!!
Thanks for the laugh!
Those puppies are darn cute..

Go on you know you want to...


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