Friday, 30 October 2009

Which witch are you? (or get to know your inner witch!)

I am a witch. Everyone will tell you especially my three year old who's taken to telling me how much he hates me whenever I tell him off - actually all of them do it, including Dear Charlie and he's my husband.
Now I won't get paranoid about it even though it is Halloween tomorrow but having just indulged myself - and of course the boys - by watching Snow White courtesy of Disney, I feel for the witch. I really do.
In fact whenever I am around people who are really good and perfect, my inner witch just bursts forth. Of course, I never actually show how witchy I am - that would be seriously scary, so I hide it and smile and ask all those lovely fluffy questions and imagine I am holding out a lovely red poisonous apple.
OOOhhh I am scary!
I think it is important for women to acknowledge their inner witch. I am definitely a Snow White witch, looking to get rid of my rivals with ruthless efficiency and realising like all good witches must that if you want a job done properly you always end up having to do it yourself.
Now there are lots of witches in stories to choose from and here are a few of my favourites:
The White Witch from the Chronicles of Narnia: for those very organised and efficient women who hate indecisiveness, untidiness and those people who fail to clean behind their fridges at least one a week. These self-reliant women are typified by the fact they do very well in a man's world and do no favours for the rest of their sex. Most likely found running the country.
The Wicked Fairy from Sleeping Beauty: for those women who need to be in the know and take exception when they are not. Most likely found heading up the local women's organisation or else the PTA.
The Wicked Witch of the West: for those women who know what they are owed and take no prisoners. Most likely found demanding a refund for a dress they have only worn once or else telling you they know their rights.
The Witch from Hansel and Gretel: for those women who know what they want and are not scared to get it by any means how ever underhand. Most likely found as your instant best friend so watch out she's likely to eat you up.
There must be loads more witches out there especially at this time of year - which witch are you?
As for Disney's Snow White I have a feeling she'd be the scariest witch of all - the reason being she's just too good to be true and I just get rather worried when I meet people like her. We all need an inner witch just to be comfortable...even if it's only around other witches of our acquaintance.


ChrisH said...

We definitely won't mess with you, Tattie!

Tattie Weasle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tattie Weasle said...

ChrisH - Nor do my boys...much!

Expat mum said...

Apparently I'm the school (b)witch today. I stood up to another mother who was trying to get her teenager and two friends on to a bouncy castle with three six year olds (one of them mine). Despite the fact that the guy in charge was telling her that wasn't allowed, and the limit was 5 people anyway, she kept insisting the girls "knew how to be gentle". First I pointed out that since they weighed about twice as much as the little kids, they'd bounce them off in all directions and someone would bump heads. She still kept saying they knew how to be gentle. Eventually I just pointed to the guy in charge and said "He's telling you you can't, and it probably creates a liability they're not covered for", and walked off. She could be seen the rest of the morning (a Halloween and school fayre thing) pointing me out to other mothers. Like I care.

Tattie Weasle said...

Expat Mum - OOOOHHHH I am hopping mad for you and just know THAT woman was definately a Wicked Witch of the West - possibly the worst kind of witch as even other witches don't like her. Go on put a nasty great big HEX on her - I am. What a silly baggage she is! Hope that you all had a good Fayre despite her...(still muttering and hexing away here.....)

Anonymous said...

I like the sound of the white witch, actually. So I'm going to take on that role, although I'll give running the country a miss. I think it's good to be a witch at times. my daughter would eat no fruit or vegetables is I was a fairy princess all the time!

Liz (LivingwithKids) said...

Well I think I'm Glenda, the Good Witch of the North (Wizard of Oz) but my son would probably describe me as Mrs Coulter from Northern Lights - a witch in the broader sense. Chocolatl, anyone?

Pam said...

Gave up teaching in the mainstream Tattie, because I was starting to become the wicked witch,experience showing me that kids can sense a soft and gullible Snow White teacher a mile off. The wicked witch is not in my nature unless I'm behind the wheel, then bring it on.Some idiots bring out the hex incentive in me big time!Oh, and we had a bouncy castle death here in Australia, where it was not secured properly on a windy day, resulting in a fatal injury to a child. You're right to enforce the safety issues.

Pondside said...

While I'm definitely a witch, Tattie, I don't think I'm a Disney witch or a Wizzard of Oz witch! I'll have to ask my kids - they'll be brutally honest!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Well I certainly know a few women that were busy last night! Doubt you were one of them!

Tattie Weasle said...

Rosiescribble - I hate it that I have to be a witch to get them to eat veggies but it works!
Liz - I forgot about Mrs Coulter seriously scary lady. I'll just smile and be good so the Gobblers don't get me!
Pam - Oh it's surprising how often I come over all witchy when I drive too. Do you think it is because it's such a safe environment and no one can hear us?
Ponside - you mean a real live real witch?!!
MOB - no never me. I was at home cleaning and polishing my halo!%^&£!"!!! ;)

Iota said...

What a BRILLIANT post! I've never thought of having an inner witch. I think mine would be someone who is very difficult to spot, as she would seem nice, but underneath would be very devious and good at covering up her own manipulative behaviour. The White Witch in Narnia was rather like that with Edmund, giving him Turkish Delight and promises of power to woo him.

Or maybe the witch in Rapunzel, who gave the man the delicious lettuce that his pregnant wife craved, and just slipped in the condition that they had to give her the baby. She knew what it was like living with a pregnant woman, and how he would do anything to stop her going on about her craving.

Love this post.

Go on you know you want to...


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