Bah! Humbug! - shall I just give up on Christmas?

Shall I just give up on Christmas? I mean it’s not as if we are spending it at home so why bother with decorating it? No one will see it and I don’t think my family will appreciate it either. I posed that question (somewhat aggressively I might add) to the boys this morning. My head was full of the things I had to do IF I decided to go ahead with Christmas at our place.

First, there’d be the Christmas letter to write, the Christmas cards to buy, the envelopes to address and then of course the cost of the stamps. We don’t do much by halves at this place so the Christmas card list sits at nearly 200 strong. We never get back as many cards as we send out I might add.

Then I would have to find tall the decorations and dress the house. It is something I have always loved in the past but with us not being here I wonder would it be worth it and I feel that there is no point. Yet I am conflicted, I do love seeing my home dressed for Christmas.

But there is so much work involved. There is SO much to do. I have work and deadlines to meet and every weekend from now till New Year is packed; no rest or breather though I will admit at least this year I don’t have to do the lot myself. A silly practice I had got into whereby I’d be charging about entertaining from the week before Christmas to the weekend after New Year. No wonder I flopped into a depression every January I was far too exhausted.

So now without that pressure I feel in two minds. Do I hurtle about or do I drop it? There is no particular need is there?

Then I see their faces in the rear-view mirror.

Christmas may not be in our house this year but the build-up still is. I hear a little voice from the back of the car: “So Father Christmas won’t be coming to our house then?”

I check myself. God how selfish I am! “Of course he will sweetheart,” I say. And I mean it. The spirit of Christmas fills my heart because I know how much it means to them and after all what is Christmas all about if not them?

And later I will scamper about in the barn hunting down the decorations.

I will charge off to the shops to get the cards and do the Christmas Shopping.

The Christmas round robin letter will be written.

The envelopes addressed.

And I, well, I won’t be doing everything this time, there will be no cooking or extra cleaning, no jollying along of in-laws and making everything perfect for everyone else because I think that is what they want so I think it will be a Merry Christmas after all…

Where’s it gone?

OK own up where is it? I know I had it briefly yesterday but for the life of me I don’t have it today. I truly believe I have writer’s block. Yes, I know I’m writing here but I cannot seem to be able to write my usually “upbeat” and “hilarious” take on the past year that I do for the annual round robin to all my friends and family.

In fact every time I think about it I get stumped and nothing happens. This literary paralysis is also seeping into my work. It took me four days to write 500 words and even then it was a load of old tosh.

I just cannot get enthusiastic. I don’t seem to be able to grapple with the English language to force out even one tiny sentence. In fact what I do manage to do is bore myself to death within seven words…it does not bode well especially when I realise that those rellis and mates in the outer reaches of the world just will not hear me in time for Christmas as the posting dates have come and gone. See ya OZ you won’t get my words of wit and wisdom until next year at the earliest. Aw shucks US of A it will be mud season before I thaw…

So it looks like all there will be is an empty card and I have a feeling that will just not be Christmas for my fans. How will I face them for Boxing Day Drinks? Will I get cold shouldered at New Year? Tune in for the next scintillating episode…

PS: ThinkingSlimmer: Not a good day. Felt ravenous today but managed to curb the excesses. Frayed a bit at the edges. Put it down to serious stress which I will get my head round tonight and write about tomorrow…