Friday, 12 October 2012

So you want to work for me….?

Let’s get this straight when you work for me I want to see work done.
Your place of work is for work it is not an internet café nor is it a social media site
I don’t want to see you texting when you should be working nor looking at the damn things either. I don’t want to be party to your love affairs or break ups because you are yelling into your phone to be heard. Nor do I want to hear you arranging your night out in fact I don’t want to hear you on your mobile full stop!
Ditch the phone and get on with the job at hand.
When you come to work for god’s sake come prepared. Unless otherwise stated I do not have specialist tools at hand because you have left them at your girlfriend/boyfriend’s house. I am not a hardware store. Nor am I chemists when you come to work with a hangover. Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes or think I have forgotten that you told me you were going out the night before to get bladdered.
I don’t care!
I am paying for the job to be done and you have a responsibility to be in a fit state to do it.
Whatever you do don’t lie to me about being ill because of a hangover or because it is Friday/Monday and you just don’t feel like going to work; invariably I have been there and done that, so excuses won’t wash. If you are ill you’re ill. You don’t miraculously get better from flu after 24 hours and if you have a sick bug I don’t want to see you for two days.
Be on time for work and turn up when you say you will it is called being be reliable. I don’t care that the trains were late or the bus cancelled build in some bugger it time so that you are always where you should be at the time you should be and if that means you have to get up half an hour earlier then so be it!
Don’t let me down at the last minute. Remember the world does not revolve round you, I may have had to organise my whole day to fit you in, I may even have had to take a precious day off from my own job to do so.
Take pride in your appearance. Unshaven dirty looking people are not welcome. If you have no pride in yourself it is hardly likely you will have pride in your work. I am relaxed about tattoos and body piercings but I can’t cope with body odour, bad breath, dirty smelly clothes, stubble and lank greasy hair. Would you like someone like that serving you at Tesco’s?
If I call you or text you about work I expect you to answer promptly not the next day. It may be that I have an emergency and you’d look a complete nit turning up for work to find there was no one about to let you in.
Don’t be rude or surly or you’ll find you won’t have a job at all.
A reliable, polite, well turned out employee who gets on with the job is like gold dust and is far more likely to be recommended for future jobs, and promotion etc. than one who is not.
So what are you going to do about it?
Do you think you could work for me…?


Jen Walshaw said...

I do not th9ink you have too high expectations, I am the same

Wally B said...

sounds perfectly reasonable to me

Anonymous said...

Sounds perfectly reasonably to me too except for the last bit about if you text them they need to answer back right away. If you can't be on your phone texting then how would you answer back right away?

Expat mum said...

Over the years we've had quite a few people working on various house projects. My husband always says he could make a mint if he ever fancied going into the house refurbishing business - by being on time, doing what he said he was going to do, coming in on budget and being available when his customers needed him. Simple really, yet so hard to find those people.

Rob-bear said...

I'd be delighted to work for you!

My office in our apartment is all set up and ready to go, with all the necessary equipment, so all you have to do is:
1. Tell me what you want me to do, and
2. Tell me when you want it done. ("Yesterday" is not an appropriate answer.)
You don't even have to make space for me at your place. Nonetheless, I will be clean, and neat, and tidy, and ready to work, of sound mind and body, by about 8:30 a.m. My time.

As for commuting daily from western Canada to your place, well, that's a touch expensive. Which is why I have my office in our apartment.

So, will you hire me?

janerowena said...

I have just had the most amazing builder working for me for the past eight days, driving all the way up from Luton. As I have announced to all and sundry, he has to be an alien or a robot. He didn't have the radio blaring, didn't smoke, was here by 8.15 every morning and didn't take breaks, leaving at around 4 to miss the rush hour. No builder's bum, no sugar in his tea, cleared up afterwards and was unfailingly cheerful. No overuse of his phone - in fact he was irritated when it rang and said that it was mostly people trying to sell him things. I miss him already - but he is going to do more work for us next year. I was considering chaining him up and not letting him leave. Or swapping him for my husband.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Whatever will you be seeking next ... the Holy Grail ?

Lou said...

I am Mary Poppins and I'm on my way to yours [by umbrella]

I love you and feel you are utterly reasonable.

Go on you know you want to...


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