Thursday, 29 December 2011

An apologist…

I am an apologist. And I hate it.
If something goes wrong even if I didn’t do it I say sorry. I am always apologising.
I so want to be liked and thought well of that I can go to extraordinary lengths to ensure everyone is OK with it. I worry about it.
I hate people getting me wrong so apologise even when it is probably quite unnecessary and it makes me, well it makes me out to be a wimp. It makes people think I have no backbone and that I am weak.
It makes people suspicious. I mean, why say sorry if you haven’t done anything wrong?
It’s a shocking habit because frequently I am not sorry for what I have done or said and in fact I would like to go a lot further however I apologise instead.
I like to think I weigh up the options and try to look at the bigger picture. Mostly I don’t feel like taking the flak as it is just too exhausting.
Should I stick to my guns and have a pyric victory or shall I just say sorry and shut up? I try to remember what Denis Thatcher used to say: “Better to say nothing and be thought a fool rather than open your mouth and confirm it…”
It doesn’t always work.
I apologise for myself because I mostly think that I am rather a silly person, that other people are better than I, that to be honest I really haven’t a clue what I am doing. So I hesitate, open my mouth in panic, stumble over my tongue and look aghast at the product and inevitably say sorry.
Maybe it’s a word I should ban from my repertoire?
Maybe other people aren’t so concerned about what others think
Maybe I should stop being so concerned myself…easier said than done.
Strange how one doesn’t change the older one gets…Sorry!


Cait O'Connor said...

Never apologise unless you regret something you have said or done. Then always apologise.

Sugarplum Kawaii said...

Oh I know what you mean...and I often seem to say sorry when it's not even my fault. People that bardge me in shops for instance. I must stop it!

Nora said...

I think you should mostly ban the word from your vocabulary. Bite your tongue when you want to say it. I very seldom do. You do get through life without it very well. Nobody thinks worse of you.

Lou said...

Personally, I like you just the way you are... apologist or not.

Merry Chrimbo - roll on 2012...please! I can't take any more Quality Street!

Jude said...

So glad it's not just me! .....Sorry.

Pondside said...

You could be Canadian, Tattie! We have quite a reputation for apologies.
Happy New Year to you and your fellows!

Go on you know you want to...


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