Thursday, 29 December 2011

An apologist…


I am an apologist. And I hate it.
If something goes wrong even if I didn’t do it I say sorry. I am always apologising.
I so want to be liked and thought well of that I can go to extraordinary lengths to ensure everyone is OK with it. I worry about it.
I hate people getting me wrong so apologise even when it is probably quite unnecessary and it makes me, well it makes me out to be a wimp. It makes people think I have no backbone and that I am weak.
It makes people suspicious. I mean, why say sorry if you haven’t done anything wrong?
It’s a shocking habit because frequently I am not sorry for what I have done or said and in fact I would like to go a lot further however I apologise instead.
I like to think I weigh up the options and try to look at the bigger picture. Mostly I don’t feel like taking the flak as it is just too exhausting.
Should I stick to my guns and have a pyric victory or shall I just say sorry and shut up? I try to remember what Denis Thatcher used to say: “Better to say nothing and be thought a fool rather than open your mouth and confirm it…”
It doesn’t always work.
I apologise for myself because I mostly think that I am rather a silly person, that other people are better than I, that to be honest I really haven’t a clue what I am doing. So I hesitate, open my mouth in panic, stumble over my tongue and look aghast at the product and inevitably say sorry.
Maybe it’s a word I should ban from my repertoire?
Maybe other people aren’t so concerned about what others think
Maybe I should stop being so concerned myself…easier said than done.
Strange how one doesn’t change the older one gets…Sorry!

6 comments:

Cait O'Connor said...

Never apologise unless you regret something you have said or done. Then always apologise.

Sugarplum Kawaii said...

Oh I know what you mean...and I often seem to say sorry when it's not even my fault. People that bardge me in shops for instance. I must stop it!

Nora said...

I think you should mostly ban the word from your vocabulary. Bite your tongue when you want to say it. I very seldom do. You do get through life without it very well. Nobody thinks worse of you.

Lou said...

Personally, I like you just the way you are... apologist or not.

Merry Chrimbo - roll on 2012...please! I can't take any more Quality Street!

Jude said...

So glad it's not just me! .....Sorry.

Pondside said...

You could be Canadian, Tattie! We have quite a reputation for apologies.
Happy New Year to you and your fellows!

Go on you know you want to...

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