Do you think I will ever be out of nappies? Seven years on and no let up.
I have tried to calculate just how many nappies that is and averaging eight a day for the first two years of each son’s life gives me a staggering 5840 plus a further 12 months for Bog Boy as he was potty trained by 3 at 6 nappies a day and a further 18 months for The Boy who didn’t potty train until he was three and half gives me another 5475 nappies then of course I have to add on the nights when both boys use pull ups.
Now Bog Boy was actually potty trained through the night as well but we’ll say he needed 1 pull up per night for 6 months and since then, for form’s sake and because his big brother continues to use them, 2 per week since then. The Boy has used at least 1 a night every night since then and occasionally two. Thus as far as pull ups are concerned 3.5 years for The Boy and 6 months for Bog Boy thus four years worth of nights to a total of 1460 pull ups.
So basically that gives me a grand total of: 12,775 nappies, pull ups and night pants of a variety of shapes, sizes and odd cartoon characters to haunt my dreams.
I dread to think of the cost….
Oh go on then lets hunt down an average cost for curiosity’s sake: 14.8p according to http://www.whatprice.co.uk/health/parent/nappies.html so based on that I have spent a total so far of £1890.70 a little bit over the UK average at £800 per child but then again mine seem to have taken longer than average to housetrain.
The Boy’s Absense Seizures (Petit Mal) is probably the main reason for his difficulty or as the doctors call it primary nocturnal enuresis which is persistent, involuntary bedwetting during sleep in a child aged five or over.
I just love the names they give these things but hate it when the health practitioners use it as a way to intimidate you. (Plain English bozos if you cannot communicate clearly you are NOT clever it just shows you have chronic inferiority issues and really should not be allowed to meet the public face-to-face. I would suggest getting a new job in a laboratory or else join the Antarctic Survey!)
Anyway, back to the problem at hand. The Boy and bedwetting or really the fact that the Boy desperately wants to have a sleep over either here or elsewhere. We haven’t quite managed it so far and naturally he realizes that at 7, he really shouldn’t be having to have pull ups. I can dress it anyway I like he knows and so do I that in normal circumstances this would not be happening. But we don’t live in normal circumstances and The Boy has to come to terms with the fact that he has epilepsy. It’s not really impinged too much up till now but with the change of school this term and, well, being much more grown up the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ of society are starting to hit the mark. Where once my boy had not the slightest bit of interest in Football now he even knows who the players are, where my boy would be happy to let me choose his clothes now there is a full wardrobe display before he is certain he can venture forth (Thank the powers that be for a strict School uniform policy!).
We’ve tried numerous gadgets and fixes and basically the hassle and anguish they engender is just not worth it. So it’s nappies specifically designed for boys who wet their beds. Ones that look cool or else don’t make that awful nappy noise like soneon is screwing up paper every time you take a step. Nappies that don’t look like nappies – though to be honest all of them do…
It’s a toss up now between Huggies Dry Nites and Pampers Underjams. On a practical front they both do the job adequately and as far as I am concerned that’s really all I can ask for. At present Underjams are leading the way as The Boy says they aren’t as noisy and feel nice but there again it might also be because they are new. They certainly don't peep over his PJs so he could get away with it as long as no one saw him getting ready for bed but then again there is always the problem of what to do with a wet nappy in the morning!
I heard recently that Dear Charlie's brother was wetting his bed until 9 years old - only two more years then!