Friday, 30 April 2010

Darling, are you sure you want to come home?

I’ve decided to vent my frustrations…you can’t escape my Darling Husband ‘cos I know you’re going to log in and guess what…
Hopefully he'll see this as HE is in London having a great night in with his Bro probably eating something fantastic in a seriously chic designer penthouse apartment in Clerkenwell. He’ll be able to sample delicious wines, watch the unber cool go about their business in a trendy up town bar then curl up in a sumptuous bed with 400  thread count and fall into blissful undisturbed sleep.
Me? I’ve had the same as I had at lunch - orange-coloured risotto without the onions because I forgot to put them in and it tastes foul. I’m not sure if it was pumpkin or butternut squash as I’m useless at labelling anything going in the freezer.
This has caused serious problems in the past, as I can never tell if I’m getting out chicken stock or poached pears. But whatever I do get out I always maintain a strict code of determination – whatever it is - it was meant to come out.
Like last night I will no doubt be called to rouse myself either to get the Bog Boy some water, or his blankie or just cuddle him because he had a bad dream then I will have to put the Boy back in bed for one of a number of reasons: Needs a poo, needs a wee, needs some food, needs a drink, needs to know why I am in Bog Boy's room! All of these of course will take place in the dead hours.
If that were not bad enough I am sure the three whippets will start their war of attrition as to who is going to get the most space in the bed. Nothing is as painful as straight-legged whippets under the duvet. For such little, spindly dogs they are very strong especially when it comes to ‘basket room’.
To round it off the cats will stage an escape and yell at me from some far off corner of the house not usually visited in even daylight hours. It will be a cold hunt at about 3am possibly five minutes after forcing the whippets back into a smaller part of the bed and just two minutes before one of the children demands my attention.
Of course this will put me on great form for the morning, which will gently be brought to the boil by tomorrow night – Darling are you sure you want to come home????

13 comments:

It's a Mummys Life said...

You describe that feeling of being the one in the house looking after the kids and animals so well. I only have one cat who miows at me at all hours, a toddler who wakes for wee/drink/stroky head and a baby who wakes when she's teething and when I'm on my own in the dead hours of the night it's like some kind of torture! Hope he comes back soon x

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

In forty years time , you can begin to exact payment from all concerned . People will run around getting you comfy cushions , G&Ts and the very best chocolates . Little trips will be arranged and draughts will be guarded against .
Till then .....

Expat mum said...

As long as he doesn't phone in the midst of his wonderful evening to tell you what a great time he's having. The Ball & Chain used to travel to London a lot (which pissed me off in and of itself). A few times he has phoned me because he's bumped into a friend of MINE and they're having a pint/glass of wine at some lovely new wine bar. Grrrrr.

diney said...

I love my hubby to bits, but it would be quite nice if he went off to some meetings for a night or two so I didn't have to cook a meal - my 10 year old and I would be quite happy with a bowl of warm porridge!! Sadly, he never, ever goes - does that make you feel a little better?!!

Pondside said...

He owes you - big time! I hope that he'll read the comments and know that at the very least a present, a hot bubble bath and dinner are due to you!

muummmmeeeeee...... said...

I think he's safer in London!

Preseli Mags said...

I agree with Ponside. If DH is reading this he needs to bring you a BIG present! Something frivolous and gorgeous, quite possibly sparkly. In a little box, gift wrapped with a bow. Handed over with a smile, hug and kiss while telling you how wonderful you are and how much he's missed you. And flowers too (nice ones, not from the garage). Then he should cook dinner and put the boys to bed while you enjoy a glass of wine in a lovely hot bubble bath.

雲亨 said...

老天爺賦予了強者的能力,就是要他比弱者多擔待 ..................................................

Sian said...

My mum had Whippets and when I was living at home it was unbelievable the amount of times I was pushed out of bed by one who had decided that my bed was, in fact, his basket and how dare I think I could share it!

PantsWithNames said...

Me again. Just to let you know that I've tagged you over at mine.

http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com said...

oh i did love that: never know if i'm getting out chicken stock or poached pears! my husband is anal in extreme. I, on the other hand, live in a chaotic mess of drawers that won't close and food that hasn't been labelled. i consider it his advantage. dinner is a lucky dip. or russian roulette, depending on your point of view.

slummysinglemummy said...

All you can do is take comfort in the fact that you are earning a massive return favour!

Being single means I don't get that simmering resentment (plus I can just make shreddies for tea), but it does mean I miss out on the return favours - make sure you come up with something fab for you to do to balance it out :-)

Tattie Weasle said...

It's a Mummy's Life - I think it was the chinese who inveted sleep deprivation as torture; boy does it work! Hope you get plenty of rest.
SmitoniusAndSonata - ooohhh yes as liong as I hold the purse strings or else play the old "Do you want to be in my will" card; actualy I quite fancy that but then I do have an utterly evil streak!
Expat Mum - strangley enough he's has that uncanny knack of self preservation!
diney - that does! For all that he does bugger off there's always the fact thqat I don't have to cook and clean up afterwards!
Pondside - I'm definitley going to suggest this!
Muummmmeeeeee - I think he thinks so too!
Preseli Mags - while I totally agree one MUST live in the real world but there again nothing ventured nothing gained!
Sian - they are shockers for this and they seem such nice little dogs...
PantswithNames - wild excitement! Will rush over now...
reluctant memsahib - I'd say it makes us exciting to live with! ;)
slummysinglemummy - he does owe me a big favour and I am so lucky that I know he will respond accordingly but just sometimes, well a bowl of shreddies just because I can....

Go on you know you want to...

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