Tuesday, 27 April 2010

And now for something completely different courtesy of the wickedest whippet!

I have just caught the EBJ doing something extraordinary and I don't have a camera to prove it. She is not a dog she's a cat in dog clothing. I have just found her on top of the Welsh Dresser her front feet up on the second shelf , her head inside the chicken bowl which is full of stale bread for their breakfast - well it was, but actually now it's all over the kitchen and I have decided on reflection that possibly I shouldn't have barked at her.
She had no idea I was there and I just could not resist, so I barked.
She hit her head on the bottom of the shelf above, her back feet skiddered on the top of the dresser bottom (keep up) knocking a glass and a couple of plastic tumblers onto the floor and sort of twisted and jumped landing feet first on the floor where she should have been in the first place. She then licked her lips went all silly and submissive while thumping her tail against my leg like a demented Labrador.
It's at times like these that I question her breeding.
So as well as being able to jump onto the dresser she now climbs its shelves to help herself to food. She's as bad as Bog Boy who also has a robust disregard to Health & Safety manuals in his quest for sustenance first thing in the morning.
She's not much better at Dog Training. All the others are making "Soopah" progress but the EBJ aka Sassy my year old black whippet...well let's just say she's a "right little character".
Every week we have to walk round all the other dogs, sitting just in front of them then moving off at heel. Every week without fail Sassy manages to get her head stuck in someone's pocket or else in someone's dog treat pouch. It's got to the stage where all the other owners glare at me while  firmly clamping their dog treat bags or pockest firmly shut while standing poker straight with their poor dogs practically strangled by their leads at their sides. When it first happened I just didn't know what to do with myself as I tried very hard not to laugh. Sassy seeing that poor Mr E was giving treats to his Labrador out of his very capacious trouser pockets just stuck her head right in and helped herself. Her head was right inside the man's pocket rummaging around for the tidbits and for a moment Mr E had no idea what was going on. It seemed like an age before she took her head out. By common consent no one said a thing and we carried on the lesson, me crossing fingers this was a one off.
But the EBJ is not a stupid dog and she knows you know!

13 comments:

Preseli Mags said...

Howling with laughter here (to carry on the dog theme). That poor man. He must have thought his luck was in! I love the fact that she banged her head when you barked. I worry about barking at dogs, who knows what you are actually saying?!

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

She's good. I'm impressed. Problems with the retriever is that they are too bulky to get their heads into a pocket, but that wouldn't stop her trying!

Tattie Weasle said...

Preseli Mags - Dread to think WHAT he thought! Now worried that I might have said smething quite dreadful to my dog...there again if she thinks I can "Talk" it might mean she'll beahve a little...OK wishful thinking!
Brit in Bosnia - But Retrievers are so good they don't need pockets everyone is always giving them treats - verbatim quote from a jealous EBJ who is now in DISGRACE for eating red power ranger. I wouldn't have known but the poor toy was shouting at me no really, the thing is one of those talking ones and as EBJ chewed it it went into overload and just kept talking until I heard it and came to the rescue. I fear I was too late. The prognosis is not good...for the toy! The dog is fine at least until Bog Boy gets back...

mollygolver said...

Love this post Tattie. So funny.

Tattie Weasle said...

mollygolver - long may she amuse. She is now safely tucked up with my eldest fo rthe night. Peace reigneth on all quarters!

Mud in the City said...

Did the man have a smile on his face? Worrying whippet behaviour....but brilliantly written!

Anyone who says animals have no emotion has clearly never owned one!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

I too am wondering what you said when you barked!

Tattie Weasle said...

Mud - I have a wary eye on Mr E and if his pocket just happens to be gaping I'll be dragging poor whippet away pronto!
SmitoniusAndSonata - I tried barking at her again after I read this and all she did was cringe. It must be something so horrid I vow I'll never do it again!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

They do some wonderful things don't they, we can't help but love them to bits.

CJ xx

bodran... said...

I don't believe a word of it!!
That angelic little dog never!!
But alas it is true, i know i've been witness to it's scheming ways..
When are you off to new quay ??
it's time to make a date ..

Tattie Weasle said...

CJ - I have a feeling half the tiem it is because of their awful scheming ways that I love her! (She's just taken my shoe to her nest...arrghhh come back here you 'orrible little tyke!!!!)
Bodran - she gets worse. Heaven only knows how we'll keep a grip on her this year in New Quay. Looks like the first two weeks of August are on the cards but will update whne I have got it all confirmed!

Nicola said...

I love the sound of your dog! The ingenuity!!

Tattie Weasle said...

Nicola - She's adorable especially when she is sleeping!

Go on you know you want to...

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