Monday, 15 February 2010
St Valentine's Day - When you get it wrong really, really wrong…
We had baked potatoes, salad out of the bag and beef olives – which were just scrumptious. He proudly told me he’d only just got to the butchers on time and Mark was closing up but agreed to serve him as he’d got his foot in the door before they officially closed. I was impressed.
He said he was too as he’d got a great deal on the beef, two for the price of one as they were a special St Valentine's Day recipe that would not keep. He enthusiastically said we’d have the second lot on Monday.
I have a feeling my husband and I are just not connecting, we’re a little out of sync. I don’t remember it always being so but after ten years and two children perhaps my memory is a little fuzzy.
It’s not as if we don’t try, we do but not together. Take last night, before the estimable supper, for instance. I’m having a bath; he’s putting the boys to bed. He’s already totally flummoxed me with not one, but two beautiful bouquets and has served me chilled Bouvay La Dubay. I am feeling Gooooood. He comes into the bathroom.
Him: “Hey is the bath still hot? I really need a bath.”
Me: “Sure come on in!”
Him, looking a little startled: “I think Bog Boy needs you to kiss him good night…”
I get out of the bath and drape a large fluffy towel round me and saunter off in the direction of my youngest’s room. Ten minutes later I return and slip into the bath with my husband.
Him: “Whoa! The water’s going to go over!”
Me: “No don’t worry about that. I’ll sit down slowly.”
Some where along the line it doesn’t work quite as I had planned and instead of going slow I splash, fall back on my husband ooofing him somewhat and probably totally negating any chance of us ever - even if we wanted to - having another child again, water goes everywhere and I find myself alone in what suddenly seems to be a very, very, big bathtub.
Me, looking up at him surprised, as he snaps a towel round his waist: “Oh you got out!”
Him: “Well, I am rather tired…”
As he walks out the bathroom I think isn’t that meant to be my excuse?
And then, of course, we have the dinner and I am truly touched. We seem to have drifted sort of, certainly over the last six months, maybe longer, I forget. There’s always so much to do and things to get on with. I suppose I hadn’t noticed. I feel a little guilty of my neglect because I have neglected him. Just as much as I feel he has neglected me. I determined to try again.
So tonight I do my best, but my best sort of fizzles out probably because my timing sucks. If you want to seduce your husband don’t do it when your kids have just gone to bed and are still trying to persuade you that they are NOT tired, don’t opt to retire to the coldest room in the house even if it is the furthest one from the aforementioned children, don’t forget to feed the dogs, don’t forget to lock the door and most importantly don’t forget to relax..
Suffice to say he was sweet about it all even when the dogs goosed him when he wasn’t expecting it – hey it would put the best off their stride. He said he loved me and I wondered if he really did. For whenever we try to get it together well it just doesn’t seem to happen I mean when I get it wrong, I really, really, get it wrong!
Picture shows: "Candle lit dinner for two" from Lady & The Tramp, Disney 1955.