Thursday, 19 July 2012

50 Shades of Grey BT...or how I get my kicks without a broadband connection

So it's come to this...after yet another week without the Internet and fruitless calls to BT I am going to dangle with a dongle.
And yet again I have to remind you that not everything is about 50 Shades of Grey! Though I will admit sometimes it might be more exciting if it were...
Could you imagine if BT Broadband calls were along those lines?!She ponders as she bites her lip...
Best not to think about that, we'd never be able to get through and it's bad enough now.
So trying hard not to get hot heated on the telephone to BT as I am told that whatever happens they can only provide me with a 256 service (that's a quarter of a meg), I try one last desperate time to get the answer I want to hear...
"So what you're telling me is that if I want a halfway decent service I will have to move?"
"No, just that due to your location thats the best we can do..."
I bite my lip but because he cannot see me it doesnt work and however long I keep him holding on I know he won't change his mind.
"It's never going to work," I say with tears in my eyes.
"Not really, I could say it might but my hands are tied..."
"What if I bought my own cable?"
"We're very strict about that sort of thing."
Aha I think I am getting to him.
"But it could be done? A kind of compromise.."
Foolish girl, I know I had him but compromise just isn't in their dictionary. They only deal in exclusive relationships. I've blown it.
"No," he says emphatically. "We can only do what I have said."
I have nothing to lose now.
"So what if I went with someone else?"
"That's up to you of course but no one will be able to give you a better service whatever they say..."
It's true if I want to use cables and wires there's no one else who can do it better. No one else who's got it in all the right places, who can go further and deeper. No one else with better connections.
It's galling to think how dependant I am. I shake back my hair and bite my lip again. Determined to get away once and for all secretly knowing that in the end I will be back despite myself.
But for now I will say goodbye and with dignity.
"You a forcing me," I say with a catch in my voice. I don't like to be forced to do anything. "you give me no option I am going to go mobile."
There'd is genuine regret in his voice. "I am sorry we can't help you but you have to understand our position we really are tied."
I put the phone down.
That's it the end I think sorrowfully.
I pick up the phone again and dial...
"Hi this is 3G can I interest you in a dongle....?"
I bite my lip, this could be the answer to all my prayers...


Sarah said...

lol, i liked this post, I love the way you wrote it ;). And I hate BT. x

Tattie Weasle said...

Sarah - thank you and yes is it that obvious that I don't like BT too? I just wish they would invest in fibre optic cabling for everyone and get it over and done with so we could all have a decent connection! They coudl even sell teh copper cabling to pay for it!

Mud said...

Love it! I hope the dongle scratches the itches that BT just can't reach!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Oooh, you are naughty!

On a serious note, I've just been discussing BT with someone on FB. They are probably the most unhelpful service I've ever come across and I've come across a lot living in the middle of nowhere!

CJ x

Tattie Weasle said...

Mud - I am looking forward to a bit of dongle...anything is better than being just left to hang!
CJ - it was that or have a major rant and cry which I am not going to let BT do to me!

Zoƫ said...

oh my - a dongle *swoons*

Tattie Weasle said...

Zoe - *bites lip* yes...a dongle!

Wally B said...

And I think they come in 50 shades of grey. Well at least 2. Good luck on the dongle front:)

janerowena said...

About 2 months ago my husband bought me a book. I read lots of thrillers, he is always looking out for new authors for me. He said that lots of people on twitter had been talking about it and it seemed that all the ladies liked it.

Well - I read, and read, and waited for the murder to happen - and it never did! I was about a third through when I realised it was never going to. He came up to bed and I asked him if he had an ulterior motive, did he realise he had bought me a soft porn book of the S&M variety?

You should have seen his face - naked fear!

Go on you know you want to...


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