Monday, 20 June 2011

One sided conversations…with my ISP provider


Ring ring ring ring…
Hello this is the O2 Answering service. I am sorry but the person you are calling is unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone with your name and number and the person you are calling will get back to you as soon as possible.
Oh um yes Hi ISP people. It’s me Tattie Weasle. Um calling about the fact that I am not connected…
I called you yesterday and the day before and um in fact I’ve called you every day for the last fortnight but um you haven’t called back.
Are you still trading?
It would kinda be good to know so that if you are not trading I can try and get connected elsewhere. I’d rather not be connected elsewhere because I feel I’d be jumping from the frying pan into the fire but you know at least I know more about the frying pan than I know about the fire, if you get what I mean, and anyway I am not sure the fire can get me connected even though it says I can because the woodsmen (aka BT Engineers) say that the wood used is not the right wood and wouldn’t get me connected for anything despite what the fire says…
OK maybe you are not good on analogies but basically if you don’t contact me I will be forced to go elsewhere even though there isn’t really anyone else I can go to and I know that you know that that is the situation…
(For those out of the loop, due to the quirks of BT you cannot get a halfway decent landline broadband connection where I live so I have to connect to the internet via a complicated and frankly archaic ground-based satellite hop which costs me an arm and a leg. I am not kidding when I say you get better and faster and more reliable connection from the top of Mount Everest)
God I love the countryside! (Not)
So Um ISP people call me, anytime, I have nothing better to do because now that I have no reliable internet I am more than likely to lose my job and all my friends and get had by the DVLA and the HMRC ‘cos you know they think everyone has been connected because it’s something they say should happen but you know it’s all talk….
Well have a nice day and feel free to call, or post a letter, or a carrier pigeon…
Nothing else to do. Really nothing …But wait for you, you know to contact me, the person who pays… the customer….Bye now. Call anytime. Bye. ….

6 comments:

Rob-bear said...

Oh, dear Tattie! Didn't anyone ever explain to you that conversations with ISP providers are always once-sided. (Except for a few on the other side of the pond, as in the Canadian side.)

You poor dear! Would help if I could, but Bears don't know a great deal about electronics and mechanics.

Tattie Weasle said...

Rob Bear - would yo believe it just as I finished writing teh post they called, saying they'd be out on Wednesday to fix it. Won't hold my breath but after a little teeth baring from the weasle perhaps they got the jist....or was the call just pure coincidence???

legend in his own lunchtime said...

Are Dish networks available in your area? I know changing is a hassle, but we had to do it a few months ago, as we kept losing our connection. Of course it was always our fault.

Rob-bear said...

Very much doubt coincidence, TW. Have you ever taken the time to look at a weasel's teeth? Not a pretty sight.

This, in addition to the fact that a weasel is an animal with tons of ATTITUDE! Need I say more?

I do hope they find their way to your place day after tomorrow. Will have a team of St. Bernard's ready, just in case the poor people get lost in the process.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

You made contact !
I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll be "fixed" by tomorrow .

About Last Weekend said...

You poor thing - What a nightmare...you feel like you're living in a cave when that happens. Plus no doubt they will ask you to stay at home for a five hour period they day they come to fix it. And there is a recession?

Go on you know you want to...

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