I’ve been given a back handed compliment, one as I sit here I am NOT enjoying – but are you ever meant to? No of course not. For you see I am being picked on this time because of my name and certain attributes are being applied to me regardless of their veracity.
I am a Boden-Blogger. A named Boden Blogger. Fair enough I like Boden. I like the clothes. I aspire to wear the clothes. Unfortunately I am far too ungainly, unsophisticated and fat for the clothes and frankly I cannot afford them. But hey! How many women who read Vogue can actually aspire to wear the clothes let alone look good in them?
I admit I have blogged about Boden. I admit I have envied those who wear Boden. But only in the case of a wistful longing to be as stylish, sophisticated, fashionable and well turned out as those who do. Doesn’t every woman yearn for those things from time to time?
I am being portrayed by the Times and in particular by columnist Kate Muir as a fluffy airhead wannabe who makes token gestures to the latest fashionable cause in the wake of the trend setters portrayed in the society columns of the really smart tabloids such as the Telegraph, the Times and Saturday’s How to Spend it magazines.
I am the excluded deluded middle class neither one thing nor the other. Considered a fool because of my innate sense of fair play, taken advantage of as I allow others their say first, derided for my “posh” accent and old-fashioned manners.
And I am deeply offended. My secret is out. I have NEVER worn Boden. How on earth will I hold my head up high when I get back on the school run?
Isn’t it bad enough that I cannot afford a new Land Rover? Actually I cannot afford a new car full stop. Bugger the carbon footprint the damn thing is still roadworthy ergo I drive it. A simple cost analysis reckoned that it would be cheaper for me to carry on driving the gas guzzling death trap for the next ten years than to buy the latest eco car and that even factored in diesel at £2 a litre!
As for travelling abroad – wot???!!! Have you seen our mortgage?!!! Yurt! Please – I have a lovely Kyham Classic XXL as recommended in Good Housekeeping. Saved a fortune at a friend’s Fortieth the other month.
And would you like to know what I am wearing now? A pair of rapidly disintegrating Wrangler jeans - boot cut 'cos Hell I have to try to balance out somethings in my life - a vintage (well it was bought in 1993) navy blue Benetton polo shirt with bird poo effect white paint splotches and the biggest secret of all – matching bra and panties from Rigby & Peller still going strong some three years on…quality counts you know.