Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Getting back in the Groove

Refusing to stick my head in the ground!
It's been a long time.
A very long time and no it's not about the blog, even thoughit has been so long since I posted that my rankings are now totally off the scale and I am in danger of being forgotten.
It's about work.
And I am in danger of being forgotten there too.
Not only forgotten - which may imply that I once was remembered - but there is also the realisation that for some I have actually never existed.
And now I am trying to get back.
Get into the groove.
I feel as if I have been in some kind of stasis - frozen in time like Austin Powers and totally without any mojo.
I haven't been doing nothing for the past 12 years. I have managed to keep my foot wedged in the door so to speak- while renovating our home and birthing and bringing up two boys - but the foot has been so long wedged that I think it has mortified.
I do have some work but lately it has been squeezed and I fear that because I am not in the office on a daily basis I am fading fast in everyone's collective memory.
Hence the need to rejuvenate myself; be reborn - faster, stronger, better than before.
And I feel an utter fraud.
I fear I may never work properly again.
Why on earth would anyone want to give me gainful employment?
I have forgotten how to do it.
Not that I have forgotten how to write, I can do that OK. I write 1,000 words a week and get paid for it. But I am beginning to fear that all my eggs are in one basket and if that magazine were to decide to close down my column - then what?
No one knows who I am!
I wasn't widely known when I was working full time but at least all the PRs knew where to send the press releases and would ring me up with useful bon mots and stuff. I'd get invited to functions and press days and the like.
Now I find I am having to scrabble about on line searching for stuff more and more and increasingly I am having to telephone PR Execs, begging them to put me on their mailing lists. They invariably mispronounce my name, get confused and then ask me again just who I am and why I am calling.
It's so scary.
Scary that I am going to have to risk rejection, ridicule and condescension from editors and publishers young enough to be my kids as I start all over again at the bottom.
I am going to have to prove, not just to them, but to myself that I can do it
I am terrified.
Can I make it?
Can I do this?


8 comments:

Suburbia said...

Yes!

Expat mum said...

Oh for god's sake woman - you can do it. You obviously haven't read my latest post. You can do ANYTHING - if you adopt the attitude. OK, it's smoke and mirrors at times, but it works. And you don't need S&M. (Smoke and Mirrors, that is.)
I swear I did not plan that.

Rob-bear said...

Of course you can do it! There is no doubt. Between wicket Whippets and wily Weasels, you can handle anything. (Well just about; we're not quite sure how you would handle being made a member in the House of Lords.)

Blessings and Bear hugs!

Tattie Weasle said...

Suburbia - Thank you!
Expat Mum - you area right a bit of S&M will do wonders! You made me laugh!
rob Bear - your faith is wonderfully uplifting. Today I think I can! Though likilhood of getting into House of Lords is pretty far off despite Expat Mum's S&M advice!!

Elizabeth said...

Oh go for the house of Lords. Why not? It was the women in the American Senate who solved their fiscal problems, people who were willing to negotiate instead of strut. So go for it... never mind age. The youngsters would love to have your experience if they only could.

Tattie Weasle said...

Elizabeth - I am going for it but I may have bitten off more than I can chew!!!

Aly said...

Oh good luck!

Tattie Weasle said...

Aly - Thnak you

Go on you know you want to...

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