Saturday, 7 November 2009

The best day in my life....


Just finished a wonderful dinner party - yes they still happen you know.  And we were all talking about things past, girlfriends, boyfriends things we got up to in the 80s (OK I'm showing my age here) and of course celebrating the fact that we had been married 10 years! I was asked what was it like. What was the best bit and I remembered what it was - finding out I was pregnant not for the first time but the third and realising that THIS time it would be for keeps. This time I wouldn't miscarry...I wrote this at the time in 2002...

I have NEVER been so tired in all my life and the effort to do things just makes me feel even worse. Then I get really annoyed and start to worry and get all muddles up which of course makes me even more tired.



When will it end!!!???

But the good news is I have a baby in me – yippee. I went for my scan last Friday and the first thing they did was go straight to the wee sac and I could see immediately that there was something definitely in there and it had a heartbeat.

I burst into tears - up until then I had no idea I was so worried – another reason for my tiredness says Mum. Charlie blew it all though because he says when I saw the Doctor I made him and the doc uncomfortable “going on” about how scared of the medical profession I was.

He’s not the one having the baby as I righteously pointed out. I did not think I was going on and I tried to explain to him that I have only had one real fear in my life and that was giving birth and now I have actually voluntarily put my hand up for it! I don’t think he understood at all.

I was only eight years old when I had my sex education at school and I will say so myself I was very young for my age – not that I was stupid or anything just naïve with a very big imagination and a deep sense of empathy.

The whole thing was very shocking to me and they did a no holds barred natural birth plus sound effects. Absolutely horrendous and this was 1975 – a real long time ago. Up until I was 27 I was determined never to have children because of it. Other peoples birthing horror stories and the portrayal of birth in the movies and books etc did not induce me otherwise. Luckily I suppose common sense has prevailed and a sense of the great scheme of things has put everything into perspective. I am still very concerned about it. I am sure that if I weren’t frightened of doctors as well it would help. I am not good on needles….

I really don’t know how I am going to react. I do know I have to do something about it fast or the whole experience will ruin the relationship I will have with my baby. It did for my mother. They were barbaric – that doesn’t help either….

I am going to try to attend all the antenatal classes plus relaxation ones too; I am also getting in touch with a hypnotherapist as I read about it in an article since I really am sacred of needles etc. We will see.

Oh as well as the tiredness, I am now feeling permanently slightly motion sick – sipping hot Ribena helps and keeping off the fatty foods does too. Nice clean foods is what I need but still can’t face eating my greens – sense of smell highly acute and the smell of milk, cheese and meat is horrendous – Dear Charlie and the builders are eating out most nights I sip consommé soup and eat lemon sorbet and strawberries – yummy!

PS Picture shows Woman in Blue by Johannes Vermeer. There is great debate about whether some of the women in Vermeer's paintings are actually pregnant.

12 comments:

Marsha Moore said...

Congrats on your wee one!

Potty Mummy said...

This is not you announcing another one, is it? I think it's a retrospective post but whether it is or not, great post...

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Dinner parties are great fun. We've done a lot lately and each one was terrific.

Glad you got over your fears - imagine being without your kids now if you hadn't?!

blackbird said...

Here's to great dinner parties and friends!

I remember realizing halfway through my fist pregnancy that there was no easy way out of it. That came as a bit of a shock. Worth it though.

Expat mum said...

Aah, bless. Good job we forget about the birth though isn't it?

Preseli Mags said...

Oddly enough I was just talking about my two births (now 7 and 5). Not something I'm happy to remember! But the wonderful, scary time of finding out I was pregnant, that's well worth remembering. Congratulations on your tenth wedding anniversary!

Sallys Chateau said...

Nothing wrong with wallowing in the 80's !! pinched that amazing little gadget for my blog, 'Share this', brilliant. Congrats on 10 years too.

Tattie Weasle said...

Marsha - it was definitley congrats all those years ago - I'm very lucky now.
Potty - Thank you but no I learned my lesson two much of a good thing and all that!
MOB - if I didn't have them what would I DO with all that time!
Blackbird - I love it but I felt the same suddenly you realise that there is only one way out and that's not quite what you had planned!
Expat Mum - Oh yes just as well!
Preseli Mags - it was wonderful and thank you 10 years has flown by!
Sally - I was told that the 80s were "in" and that it's Ok to talk about it so only feel embarrassed when I see the photos!

Jude said...

I can so relate to the medical fears - and share the fear of needles. I too went in for kids, knowing I would have to face my fears. It didn't help that with my first, I had to be induced, and have my waters broken. I am still squeamish, but although I still dislike needles, having to have so many blood tests etc. has made it a lot easier for me to cope now.

Tattie Weasle said...

Jude - I am still a terrible wuss but I'm OK now for others and don't automatically faint at the sight of blood!

Iota said...

Like Potty Mummy, I wondered if you were letting us in on a new secret. But it's lovely to look to back at these special moments isn't it? Well done for writing it down, so that it's preserved for you.

How awful that that 'education' put you off the idea of having babies.

Beadzoid said...

What a lovely post. YOu posted it before I started blogging so I didn't catch it originally but it's nice to learn a little more about you. I can also identify a little with your medical phobias, I wasn't as bad as that but the thought of giving birth terrified me too. Bet you're so glad you did it now :) xXx

Go on you know you want to...

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin